Saturday, February 9, 2008

Circle of Life (not the cheesy Elton John kind)

WARNING! Here’s an emotional post from my heart, so if you’re hoping for pure happiness and out-of-sight sweet baby pictures, then skip this post and wait a few minutes for me to get the daily summary together.

Here is a picture of us with Uncle Dave on the night before the birth of the twins.

What I am experiencing with my babies and Uncle Dave is the epitome of what the circle of life is all about. Dave is dying and every day is a gift from God and we're enjoying each day. My babies, on the other hand, are going home tomorrow with us! Tomorrow will be an emotional day for me because we are planning to stop by Dave’s house on the way home from the hospital for a short visit. He’s been hanging onto life partly so he can hold my babies and this will probably be the one and only chance he gets to see them. The babies will be confined to our house for the foreseeable future and Dave is too weak to leave his house, so the “ships passing in the night” opportunity will be very special. There is nothing fair about life, I know, but it’s hard to bounce between these feelings of pain from watching Dave’s body deteriorate from day to day and joy from watching my babies strengthen from day to day. I’ll post the “Dave & Twins” pictures on Sunday afternoon if we are able to get out of the hospital on Sunday. I hope I am able to be strong and allow Dave to enjoy the moment, but I’ve broke down in tears many times in the past few weeks thinking about the inevitable passing of my best friend, who happens to be my uncle. It feels like someone turned the volume up to “eleven” on my emotions and it’s been a little difficult to sort through the distortion and focus on the true happiness and sadness of the moments. If you don’t get the “eleven” joke, go rent the movie: This is Spinal Tap. OK, I feel better now and thanks for bearing with me and allowing a little bit of therapy-by-blogging. You should try it sometime!

1 comment:

Aunt Mary and Uncle Dave said...

You and Kendra have given100% and we have tried to do the same and what joy we all have had. You made being Aunt and Uncle so much fun and remember always the joy of loving, appreciating, and accepting unconditionally who we are as we will remember the joy of you both also.