Thursday, May 28, 2015

Memory Verses

Greetings friends and family,

A few weeks ago I found a Star Wars Lego set on Craigslist that Easton has been asking about for the past year or so.  I took him to be a part of the purchase (in a van outside the circle K).  I took him because I want him to see what it looks like to do business and relate to people with integrity.  I gave the man the amount we agreed on and he gave Easton the Lego set new in the box.  He was super excited for it.  As we were driving home i told him this was not a gift, but a reward.  a gift is given out of love with no strings attached or performance needed to obtain it.  A reward is earned.  I told him he will need to memorize five Bible verses of our choosing.  He gladly agreed and promptly bugged us every day until we gave him the verses to memorize.  He has never memorized a single verse in the Bible until now, but I knew he would complete it quickly because of the Lego set hanging in the balance.  Talk about motivation!  OK, it was bribery...  but i don't care what it takes to get him to see how easy it is to commit God's Word to memory.  Here he is hitting it out of the park!


As soon as he finished he was ready to bust open the box.  This face is one of pure excitement and joy.  This is my favorite picture of Easton in the past few months.  Many children become adults long before they should have to.  I am very grateful Easton and Layla get to be kids and don't have to step into parenting or adult roles like so many less fortunate kids do.


We talked daily about the Star Destroyer.  We guessed how many bags were in the box (turned out to be 16 bags) and how many instruction books.  Seeing all 1,359 pieces on the floor didn't cause him to hesitate one bit.  I thought he might get a little overwhelmed, but he didn't at all.  He is doing everything and I just get a question or two every few minutes to confirm how pieces should connect.  I help him and then back away again because he's going to build this all by himself.  The first morning after he started working on it I heard some rustling noises at 5:30am.  I walked in the living room to find Easton working away on the next steps.  I said, "You know it's summer vacation and we don't have to get up early, right?"  He said, "yes, but i just couldn't sleep any more because I am so excited about working on it!"


Kendra and I are not just surviving, we are thriving.  We moved out of survival mode about three weeks ago when her fractured vertebrae began healing.  The biggest challenge is no longer getting her out of bed so she can go to the bathroom.  That sucked.  every time.  She had 6 weeks of pain medication that barely helped, lots of tears, and more uncertainty than we ever thought possible.

I asked Kendra what was the worst day of this whole cancer experience so far.  She said it was the day after her hysterectomy.  Her vertebrae was newly broken, her woman parts were cut out and the 8 inch incision was freshly stitched back together.  The air trapped in her body from the surgery was incredibly painful because it had to be absorbed through her body.  That hurts.  I never thought about this aspect, but she says it was a big contributor towards the worst day ever.

Since then she's been through a jagged upward trend that included the laser radiation and beginning Chemo.  She completed her 5th round of chemo today out of 26 total planned.  Her low white blood cell count was a concern, but they checked her blood again and it was above the minimum level necessary to go another round of chemo.  We are not in denial of Kendra's current condition or the challenges ahead of us, but we are both confident in God and his healing power.  This is Godfidence! I like our shirts and we plan to get Easton and Layla the same ones to match us so that the 4 Webbs can be unified in support of Kendra and her recovery.


Kendra's hair is completely shaved off as of yesterday and she is as attractive as ever.  She had a big mo-hawk a few days ago, but as that started falling out by the handfuls she went ahead and shaved it.  Our friends came over to hang out with us a few days ago and she has the same haircut as Kendra had before she shaved it off.  The thing I like about this picture is the relaxed, comfortable nature of Kendra and our friends.  It's nice to have people around whose view and demeanor is similar to ours.  unfortunately Tiffany is pregnant so we won't see them at our house for several months since they will be bound at home with the new born.


See you soon!

Monday, May 25, 2015

Goodbye First Grade

Greetings friends and family,

There is a ton of transition and change and adaptation going on at the Webb house.  Kendra is adjusting to life without hair.  The mo-hawk was cool, but when it started clogging the drain in the shower she took matters into her own hands and buzzed it off.  I love being with her in public because people try to figure out why she has no hair and back brace.  It's entertaining.  Maybe that's demented humor, but I love to show off Kendra's sparkly personality and life-giving attitude when her physical appearance shows obvious signs of distress.


We are adjusting to live with second graders now that first grade is officially over.  Here's Kendra before taking the twins to school for their last day of first grade.


I did a first-day to last-day comparison picture just for fun.  The difference i see is that we cared about their hair and outfits and style on the first day.  By the last day Easton has buzzed hair and Layla's is up in a ponytail.  Both of them are wearing t-shirts.  I guess that's about par for the course though.  By the first day of second grade we'll be back to stylish and hair groomed.


Having second graders in the house means they can get their own stinkin' toast in the morning and stop waking us up.  Thank God!  We've been waiting for seven years for a peaceful Saturday morning because Mr. Early Bird (Easton) just loves to wake up early on the weekends.  He has no problem sleeping in Monday through Friday, but Saturday morning he springs out of bed with a smile on his face.  I'm happy for them to also have figured out the remote for the TV.  They watch Bill Nye the Science Guy and eat toast until Kendra and I get up to take care of them.  Hooray!


We are adjusting to baby birds in our back yard.  Some bird built a nest in our lemon tree and laid eggs.  I thought seriously about cooking the eggs in a skillet, but since they are fertilized and in some state of development I didn't want to take the chance of re-enacting the "are you my mother" book if i cracked one open.


We are adjusting to life as the "4 Webbs" again.  After 9 weeks of much-needed help from my mom, Kendra's mom, my sister, and Kendra's friend, Megan we are settling back into a new normal with just the four of us.  Easton and Layla are processing Kendra's adversity in different ways.  Both of them individually cuddled with Kendra and asked, "will you be completely bald?"  Kendra answered "yes, probably by next week."  They were sad and concerned, but only because they don't understand that her hair will grow back next year.

We are adjusting to summer.  This will be the first full summer in Arizona we've experienced since the twins were born.  Our normal summer includes spending 8 weeks or so in Sacramento.  However, Kendra's chemotherapy schedule will keep us close to home for the rest of this year.  We plan to spend much of our time in the pool as soon as it warms up to meet the standards of these Arizona native wimps.

 
Even with all the adjustments there are many normal things going on such as hanging out with friends launching rockets.  We drove to the outskirts of town to a wide open spot where the twins launched and retrieved model rockets.  This seemingly normal Saturday activity was greatly needed because hanging with friends and doing regular adventure stuff is very valuable in times like this.


Birthday parties are another constant in the ever-changing world of the 4 Webbs.  This time it was our friend's daughter's five-year-old birthday at the Kroc community center.  The facility includes an indoor water park with pool, water slide, and lazy river.  Turned out to be a great birthday party that the twins will not soon forget.  The theme was Disney's Frozen movie.  The cake had a doll stuck in the middle and blue icing all around.  The kids dove in and it looked like everyone devoured smurfs.  blue tongues, hands, and even teeth!  We choose which birthday parties to attend very carefully.  I'm glad we chose this one because friendship for me is as important as it is for Easton and Layla.


Kendra's friend Adrianne arrives tomorrow to stay for a week.  I'm excited for Kendra to have her friend here for some girl time.  I'm excited to go to work and not worry about whether Kendra is OK. I'm excited for Easton and Layla to have their first week of summer with Adrianne around to be a part of it.  Never a dull moment with this family, right?

See you soon.





Friday, May 22, 2015

Bald Really Is Beautiful

Greetings friends and family,

The 4 Webbs are almost back to a fully functional state with no live-in assistance.  Kendra is through 4 out of 26 weeks for her chemotherapy.  Seems like a long time when it's written that way, but i know it will go by quickly.  Her hair is all but gone so she decided to shave it off.  She looks just as beautiful as she did with a full head of hair or a mohawk.


I took this picture of us because I wanted a picture to attach to our marriage life group.  Hosting a life group probably seems like a really bizarre thing to do, but we don't operate in the normal way people do things.  Most everyone I know who went through chemo had a tendency to isolate themselves and go into hiding.  Maybe it was because their symptoms were so painful or extreme that they didn't feel like talking to or being around anyone.  I can understand that, but for Kendra doing so well that she is enjoying a fulfilling daily life of lunch with friends, shopping, and shuttling the kids back and forth to school.

A man at church approached me and asked if I would consider hosting  a life group for marriage.  My other friend is on the verge of divorce.  Those two conversations sparked something inside me so I pitched the idea to Kendra.  She said she is willing to go along with this if I'll build the curriculum and set it all up.  Yes I will!  so starting June 8th we'll have a six-week class.  I have no idea who will show up or how many.  might be just Kendra and I and one or two couples.  Doesn't really matter to me though because we are just getting started on this journey.  I feel strongly that Kendra and I will be given opportunities to help people build strong marriages.  This is a deeper level of passion even beyond individual transformation.  So much fun doing this together.

I took the twins to an Arizona Rattler's arena football game.  My work gave me free tickets ($40 each is crazy expensive!)  Easton was very observant, but Layla was the one asking all the questions about football rules and the point system.  The game is much faster paced than an NFL game and they play loud rock n' roll music through most of the game.  We were out late, but the slight grumpiness the next day was worth the experience.  I wanted to leave in the 3rd quarter, but the twins were having so much fun they asked to stay longer!  that was a good sign that they were having a great time spectating.


Easton and Layla have one more day of 1st grade on Friday.  The idea that I have two second graders living in my house is spooky.  I've had to say that out loud a few times for it to really sink in...  "My kids are in second grade..."  sounds so weird, but i'm really happy for the way they've grown and proud of their school achievements.

Time for us to enjoy a long weekend since I have Monday off work and the twins are all done with school!  Summer is almost officially here.

see you soon

Friday, May 15, 2015

Chemo Hair Loss Party

Greetings friends and family,

Everyone is busy.  I know this because when I ask friends "how are you?"  they all say, "busy!"  but I have often thought to myself how broad the scale of busy can be.  One of my single friends with no kids and an 8-5 M-F job mentioned how terribly busy his life is.  I laughed out loud and he had no idea why.  I had no way to describe for him how busy life can really get and I know there are people whose lives are so busy they make me look lazy.  I give a golf-clap to those crazy individuals, but as far as I'm concerned my busyness scale is maxed out.

Even so, I usually leave work early on Wednesday to take the twins to ice skating.  Easton's recent advancement means both of them are on the ice at the same time now instead of each one being in a class of their own for an hour.  It works out much better this way.  Easton made some new friends on the ice and Layla is a bit of a superstar because she's so advanced compared to other seven year olds who are just starting on the ice.  Watching them encourage each other is music to my ears.



Before we went camping last weekend Layla wrote a note for Kendra's mom and I'll translate since her words and spelling are at the level of  her seven-year-old self.

Dear Ouma, I need you to take care of Mom while I am gone.  Love, Layla


I chuckled when I read her note because it is so cute.  She is extremely thoughtful and caring; especially when it comes to taking care of Mommy.  I love how she thought it was necessary to leave Ouma a note to take care of Kendra.

Layla had a fever and since Kendra is going through Chemotherapy we need to have healthy kids so she doesn't get their sickness.  I took Layla to the doctor as a precaution.  This required several reassurances that there will be NO SHOTS given at the pediatrician's office.  She was brave, but overly concerned about shots because she really hates them.  can't blame her....


Since this was kind of a daddy-date I let her wear whatever she wanted.  Pink hair band, pink shirt, pink frilly, fluffy skirt, and pink socks.  Who would have guessed?  The doctor confirmed she just had a common fever and flu-like symptoms that she would have to ride out.  There was nothing they could do to speed it along.  Although I found that some sunshine, Jamba Juice immunity-boosted healthy smoothie, and laughs with Daddy sure seem to help.  Her face is always towards the sun.  I love this little girl.


Easton had his own sporadic Daddy time over the past few weeks as we built an FM radio receiver.  I bought a kit off Amazon for $18 so he could get his first electronics training.  The kit was simple enough we were able to put it together with just some pliers, and a screw driver.  it was complex enough to give Easton some great hands-on understanding of what it takes to make a radio work.  The kit uses springs wire pieces and transistors along with the control module to make it all work together.  We followed the instructions and it works!  I shouldn't be so surprised, but given all the parts and connections I only gave it a 50/50 chance of producing any sound at all.  Easton is amazed and happy to have built something functional.  He's got the curiosity to be really good at engineering stuff.


Kendra is driving!  It's not as exciting as a 16 year old getting behind the wheel for the first time, but it's been nine long weeks since she's driven at all.  Her trip around the block was successful and she is cleared to resume normal driving privileges.  Now that Ouma is gone, her back healing enough for her to drive is perfect timing.


The oncologist said Kendra's hair would start falling out around 3 weeks into this journey.   Just like clockwork her hair started disintegrating at her finger tips.  She went to scratch her head and wound up with a handful of hair.  She decided to just shave it off to get ahead of the Chemotherapy effects.  She mentioned it to a few friends and we had a very spontaneous head-shaving party.  Stephanie came over with hats expecting Kendra to shave her head bald.


As Tam cut her hair someone said the word "mohawk" and everyone (including Kendra) agreed to give it a try.


She likes it and we all do too.  The hair loss celebration party was really fun.  We were laughing, playing music, and even a little dancing here and there.


Betty, Stephanie, and Tam are three of Kendra's friends.  She has many and is very blessed.  These are just the three that happened to be around and available for a spontaneous event like this.  The day was happy because that's just who Kendra is.  That night as we were getting comfy in bed I asked her if there were any moments of sadness or concern or negative feelings that came up.  She thought for a short moment and said, "no, it was fun and I don't care about my hair or what anyone else thinks."


I would have been perfectly fine if she had any negative feelings or issues to talk through, but she really is this content and joyful even at the thought of her hair falling out.  It's just temporary and she'll have a new head of hair growing in starting in December through 2016.


Here's the video clip I made to commemorate the chemo hair day.  I'm sure there will be one more such party before her hair fully falls out.


As much as I'm learning and enjoying every moment of this journey with Kendra, I can't wait for this year to be over...  See you soon!

Monday, May 11, 2015

Camping Out For Mom


Greetings friends and family,

Mother's Day came and went, but I'm always a few days behind reality here on the blog so this is my Mother's Day post.  I have one excellent mom who gave birth to me and raised me.  I have one excellent mom who had no choice but to take me on as a son when I married Kendra.  Both of them are more valuable to me every year that goes by.  I am blessed to have their presence and input into my life.  They are also a blessing to the twins and since grandmother's day isn't a big deal I'll go ahead and call that out right now as a part of this post.

This is the second annual Mother's Day camp out.  Last year was such a success we decided to make this a regular event.  What I gave Kendra for Mother's Day was 3 days and 2 nights of my absence along with the kids.  This is the only time each year where she gets to be in her own house with no one else around.  no one to clean up after.  no one to cook for.  no one to tip-toe around because they are sleeping.  no one to consider when deciding to leave the house.  It's a rare break that is often overlooked by dads, but from what I've seen it is very necessary.

Many women love to travel or receive tangible gifts or go out to dinner. Kendra enjoys all of those things, but the one thing she gets during this annual event that she doesn't get the rest of the year is peace and quiet in her own house.

This is a double winning situation because I get some intense daddy time with the twins.  We had a blast!  We went to Canyon Lake, but discovered there were no campsites available.  We could have quit right there and went home, but I asked for other options and the campsite attendant told me about Apache Lake.  We drove the van over dirt roads for 30 minutes and arrived at one of best lakes I've seen.  It is clear and surrounded by mountains and bluffs.  We arrived in the afternoon and set up camp right on the shoreline just a few feet from the water's edge.



I don't normally post a bunch of similar pics, but these are just too much fun to pass up.  We were happy to be chilly enough to wear jackets and breeze was refreshing.  The sunset was incredible, but I'm not skilled enough in photography to catch it accurately.


Easton and Layla were quick to jump into full vacation mode.  Silliness is completely acceptable along with loud voices, muddy hands, and sandy shoes.


Put these two in front of a camera long enough and somebody's tongue is going to come out, guaranteed.


My friend and his two older kids arrived later that evening so our entire first day was spent setting up camp and playing around.  One of the most anticipated aspects of camping was sleeping next to me.  Easton and Layla both ask me occasionally, "when are you going to get to sleep next to me?"  I always respond with, "when we go camping!"  Layla woke up bright eyed and bushy tailed.  I took a picture because this is usually when I would look over and see Kendra sleeping next to me.  instead i saw sweet Layla smiling at me.


I bought cheap kid fishing rods for the twins because my friend said his kids were bringing their own.  I don't even have my own fishing gear, but I wouldn't have been able to use it anyway.  I spent most of my fishing time putting worms on hooks, untangling fishing line, and teaching how to cast.


The few moments I was able to relax and sit around doing nothing was a result of my friend's kids exploring with Easton and Layla.  They found a rope swing that was over the land and gained some confidence as they hung on for dear life.  I was proud of them for allowing the swing to go so high and far.  Nobody was injured, but both of them had to empty sand out of their shorts a couple of times.


The scenery was spectacular.  My favorite moment of the camp out was walking slowly down a dirt road while holding their hands.  We had no place special to go and no "hurry" necessary for us to get there.  The slowed-down pace of life was exactly what the doctor ordered.


We ate non-stop for over 48 hours.  My guts are still paying for it, but not as much as my friend who ate 5 hot dogs for lunch.  There was no shortage of food and snacks!


On one of our adventure walks Layla found a fake fish that looks like a Christmas ornament.  the fins are made of corn husk and the scales are made of sequins.  It's badly damaged and probably has some disgusting germs, but Layla was excited to find such a treasure washed up on the lake shore.  


Fishing was mediocre at best.  Easton caught a couple of perch.  Layla caught nothing.  Even so, they got the concept of fishing down very well with all their casting, waiting, and relaxing.  They were happy to just sit and enjoy.  I consider this to be one of the biggest accomplishments of the weekend.


We missed church and celebrated every minute of it.  We've been faithful to church for months now without ever missing a single Sunday.  Usually we go to Sacramento for the summer and miss 8-10 weeks straight of church, but with Kendra's chemotherapy keeping us close at home it was no big deal to miss church.  For me it was a ministry break after the fast and furious first half of the year.  The amount of time and effort I put into the church as a volunteer is borderline unhealthy.  Especially considering all the circumstances of Kendra's cancer and fractured vertebrae.  I decreased the amount of ministry time and kept my priorities correct to support Kendra, but we maintained quite a bit of responsibility and leadership.  Time with Easton and Layla suffered quite a bit from all the things life threw at us for the past few months.  I know i can't make up for lost time, but this weekend was a good start in getting reconnected with twins.


See you soon!


Thursday, May 7, 2015

Advancing


Greetings friends and family,

Kendra's second round of chemotherapy is complete and we are settling into an uncomfortable, sucky rhythm for the next 25 weeks or so.  I hate seeing Kendra in pain or with indigestion or feeling lethargic or all of the above.  Based on the past week's worth of chemo side effects she will be ready to party when this whole thing is done.  We are doing well and carry our joy and happiness into every part of our day.  However, we have our moments where the challenges ahead get a bit overwhelming.  I took a picture of what that looks like.


Every Thursday Kendra goes in for another round of chemo.  The big question is whether she will lose her hair and if so, when.  odds are about 97% chance that she will lose her hair.  Neither of us are concerned about it though.  We both just shrug our shoulders and say, "whatever..."  I don't love her for her hair.  She has so much confidence that walking around hairless isn't a big deal for her.  And the good part is that her hair will begin growing back immediately after the chemo is over (around December 15?)

Cancer sucks.  Kendra is doing well.  Let's move on.  The other topic is about her fractured vertebrae.  It is healing even faster than I had hoped.  She is getting out of bed easier and with less pain every single day.  She'll need to wear the brace for another 3-6 months, but I am giddy like a school boy to see her get back to the business of life instead of being bed-ridden and doped up on morphine 24x7.  I hope to never be in that low trough again.  Let me recap the depths of a crappy life one more time just to really comprehend it.  There was a day when Kendra:

was in pain due to the hysterectomy
was in pain due to the fractured vertebrae
was in pain due to the radiation of her liver and spine
was unable to get out of bed to even use the bathroom
was suffering from a bout of head lice

How about that for a bottom-of-the-barrel experience of life?  I never once asked the question, "could things get any worse?" because there is no doubt they could have, but I didn't want to find out what that looks like.

This picture below is the last picture of Layla as snaggletooth. That dead tooth and the one next to it had to go with force.


Watching the dentist give Layla the shots was very difficult for me as a dad. I had to adjust my seat to face away from the dentist chair.  After it was over they gave her a box of stickers to choose from.  She chose three. All Three of the Disney princess stickers in the box. 


Layla and Easton both advanced to The next level in there ice skating adventures. Layla is now in basic 8 and Easton advance to basic 4.  They were both super excited to pass all the tests and keep the challenged coming. Easton is at the fork in the road with hockey or figure skating.  He decided on hockey. That means a new type of skate for him to learn.  


This next season of ice skating will be entertaining because Easton gets to see if he really likes hockey or just the idea of it.  Layla gets to finish the basics and glide into what's called "free skate" where the ice dancing really gets going. 

See you soon!






Tuesday, May 5, 2015

Mommy is Back in Action!

Greetings friends and family,

Kendra and I reached the finish line.  We slid into home plate.  We sped full-speed through the checkered flag.  and we won.  From January 1 through May 2 we were up to our eyeballs in ministry.  It was fun.  it was amazingly fulfilling.  it was time consuming and pressurized like a shook up can of soda.  and now it's over for this season.  Our team of 15 leaders led an 8-week class of 90 people and a two-day event with 43 participants.  Kendra had her first day of Chemotherapy on Thursday and then led the two-day event starting the next day.  The is the difference between doing something "for God" and doing something "from God".  Doing something for God is a struggle and difficult, but doing something from God is a joy and easy.  Just watching people go through the process of transformation and the life change that results is more rewarding than i can describe.  We will take about a month off from ministry to recuperate, reconnect, rest, relax, and all the other re- words.  


No matter what is going on in the world or in us, the one thing that remains constant is birthdays.  We had Logan and Bree over to celebrate hers.  any time cake is involved you know the twins are sure to be right in the middle of it.  Throw in a "happy birthday" song and it's almost impossible for them to stay away from the action.  I especially like Easton's wink.  His personality is showing up more every day.


Speaking of personality...  Kendra is really amazing with how she treats others.  I know it's normal for businesses to send out "thank you" cards, but I read this one from Layla's dentist.  It says, "I just wanted you to know how much you touched my hear today.  You have such a beautiful spirit and wonderful children..."  I wasn't there to know how that conversation happened, but I just shook my head and smiled when I read that because it's normal and expected for Kendra to spread her happy sunshine-personality around everywhere she goes.


 One of the highlights for Kendra is her friend Megan coming into town.  She's been looking forward to this weekend for weeks now.  Megan has been an extraordinary help for Kendra with her support in friendship and buying her dresses and just being there as much as she can with a long-distance friendship.  Kendra is sad about not spending the summer with Megan and the other moms.  We'll settle for having her here for a few days and Kendra will sponge all the happiness she can get out of these days together.   The Webb house has seen more visitors in the past 8 weeks than in the past year combined, but we are extremely grateful for those who are giving their resources and themselves to support us through this year.


 The big announcement of the week is:  Mommy is BACK!   There is a play on words there because I mean Kendra's back is healing and she is getting involved again with the kids and the household.  She was bedridden for weeks, but each day she finds there are improvements and things she couldn't do the day before.  and the best part is that she's off the narcotics and even slept a few times without any ibuprofen or Tylenol.  Simple things in life mean 1,000 times more to me.  Such as this moment when I walked into the kitchen to find Easton frustrated about having to work on his penmanship.  Kendra was sitting there with him working on letters.  Something so basic and normal becomes extraordinary because it was impossible just a couple of weeks ago.


and seeing her walk in her swimsuit without a brace was pure joy.  Yes, she is slow and stiff, but this is a miracle if I've ever seen one.  She's back in the pool and being the great mom she's always been.  Oh, and welcome to summer (no matter what the calendar says).


Kendra's chemotherapy was six hours of dumping toxic chemicals directly into her bloodstream.  It's probably not technically correct to say it that way, but that's what I experienced sitting there with her.  She's getting two "kill the cancer" medications and one "rebuild the vertebrae" medication.  whatever the names are... i don't need to concern myself with that.  I'll gladly just get to be husband and father with the greatest amount of gusto I have inside.  Some day our dates will not involve doctors, hospitals, or medicine, but for now we gladly spend our time together enjoying every moment no matter where we are or what we are doing. 


Will Kendra lose her hair?  I don't know.  neither of us really care either.  Will she experience side effects?  Nothing yet other than the taste of metal and a little indigestion.  Doesn't really change anything about the situation either way though.  side effects just mean temporary discomfort for the next few months.  There are so many unknowns and unaswerable questions that we could easily fill our entire day with just asking questions.  We just don't.  It's that simple.  We are where we are, but we won't be here for long!  Even in the middle of wherever we are, the following list of characteristics is what we have and the atmosphere around us:

love
joy
peace
patience
kindness
goodness
faithfulness
gentleness
self-control

This is what we carry inside of us and the atmosphere around us is full of these characteristics because of what we bring to every situation, every room, every uncertainty, every disappointment, every pain, and every person we come into contact with.  Some people choose to let circumstances determine their state of being.  Kendra and I chose a long time before cancer and fractured bones that our state of being will affect our circumstances no matter what they may be.  Now we are just proving out what we really believe.

see you soon!