the big deal with beautiful

Hi everyone,

Not a lot of pictures from today because it was fairly low key and normal, but i'll be glad to fill the pages here with the odd thoughts and feelings that pass through my head. First though, here's a picture of Oma Burgess and GG playing tennis on the Wii:

We all joined in the fun of playing tennis, but seeing GG and Oma do their best backhand swing was the highlight of the evening because they were both so funny to watch. It was a good family gathering and included kendra's brother, Logan, and his girlfriend Bree. Logan was a little weirded out by the idea of babies (and i can relate to that as the youngest child) so he enjoyed our babies from a few feet away. Bree jumped right in and held Layla. They smiled and giggled at each other and it was such a spectacle that everyone else in the room watched.

This evening after the babies went to sleep we left GG at home with them and walked down the street to have some after dinner snacks and hang out together. We met two guys from phoenix (it's a small world) and had a few laughs sitting close to each other and spending a few alone moments together.

That brings me to my deep thought of the day and that is: why is it so hard for guys to say the right compliment in the right way? I've discovered the word "beautiful" is something Kendra wants to hear from me, but for some unknown reason i don't say it. I think it all the time. I write it in cards and emails. I even sing James Blunt's song called "you're beautiful". but just to look in her eyes and say those three words is apparently beyond my boneheaded capacity.

I've told her she's cute, pretty, attractive, and 100 other descriptive words, but that's not what she needs to hear. I wonder if every woman is this way or if each one is different in the exact word that they want to hear their husband use to describe how he feels about her. In some ways I consider myself lucky because at least Kendra has made it known to me what she wants. I'm probably the envy of all the guys because at least she is open enough to tell me. :)

If I say, "you are beautiful to me" that implies only I feel that way about her, but others might not find her to be beautiful. If I say, "I think you are beautiful" that implies doubt and uncertainty. Adding anything at all to those three words does nothing but take away from the person they are meant to describe. So here I sit contemplating how to say:

you... are... beautiful...

as silly as it sounds (believe me, I know it's silly) I'm not stressed out about it or worried. these are just the random thoughts that pass through my head and sometimes it helps just to put it down in writing. Our 6th anniversary is coming up on August 10 and I'm working hard to plan a special night for us. I can't believe it has been 6 years since we started our lives together!

Time to get some sleep because tomorrow holds a full day of work and a flight home to AZ for a few days. This will be the longest I've ever been away from my babies since they were born 6 months ago. I already miss them and Kendra and hope the time away goes by fast.

catch you later!