Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Lord of the Ing's

Hey friends and family,

Here are the "ing" words to describe changes in Easton and Layla over the past week or so.

stuttering (Easton)
reasoning (both)
demanding(Layla)
transitioning (both)
blessing (both)

Stuttering: A week ago Saturday Easton began stuttering. I know this is the exact day because he never did it before and since that day he stutters almost consistently. Kendra and I are very concerned, but only because we don't know the "normal" path a toddler takes. Is this common and just a stage or phase? Should we be concerned? At what point to we try to get him into speech therapy (if ever)?

The humorous part is that the first time we noticed his stutter was when he claimed his nickname. I called him "hot dog" and he corrected me by saying, "mmmmmm my nick nick name nick name is Big Time".

Neither of us verbalized anything about his stutter and completely ignored it for the first week or so. However, as it is getting progressively worse Kendra mentioned it to me and we shared our concern about it. He does really well to put 5 or 6 words together in a sentence and has been improving verbal skills by leaps and bounds lately. It could be his brain is getting ahead of his mouth and it will take a little while for things to synch up. I'd appreciate feedback or experience if anyone can be so kind as to help us "rookie parents" out with this.

Reasoning: Ah, what WONDERFUL experiences we had this past week with Easton and Layla's ability to reason. Today I gave them a lollipop in the car for behaving well in Lowe's. When we arrived home I explained to each of them I need to take their half-eaten lollipop away so they can get out of the car seat and into the house. I said I would give it back to them when we are safely inside.

Magically they both agreed with happy hearts and handed me their lollipop. In the past my request to take the lollipop would have resulted in 10 minutes of kicking and screaming and timeout and lollipops thrown in the trash. Not today! They are at a whole new level of enlightenment. That makes me very, very pleased and I enjoy being around them even more now that they can reason.

Demanding: Along with the ability to reason comes the ability to demand. Layla's favorite phrases all involve variations of declaring independence. "Let ME do it!" "I wanna do it!" "No thank you, Daddy." "Please? can I do it?"

You get the idea... Sometimes we have to go against her request such as crossing a busy parking lot without holding our hand. that results in an automatic disciplinary action. Left to her own vices she will run like Forest Gump straight into the traffic way. Most other times we just talk gently to correct her forceful words and turn them into requests using the word please. She willingly restates her demand as a request and then we repeat the cycle continuously.

I am firmly convinced the consistency of our response will eventually modify her behavior in this department. Time will tell! I've been wrong before and almost everything I say about future events is 100% theoretical. All I really have is 2 years and 4 months of being a father. That's not even enough time to get a bachelor degree. School is still in session for this dad.

Transitioning: We cracked the code on how to deal with "transition children". That is a generic term used to describe kids who require some preparation and forewarning before changing the situation or environment. For example, imagine a child is playing on the jungle gym and suddenly the parent picks up the child and heads straight for the car without warning. Some kids deal with the change well and some freak out. Those who freak out are called "transition children". We happen to have TWO transition children. Easton and Layla both require some pre-notification for every change whether it is getting out of the bath or turning off Phineas and Ferb.

Here's the secret. For the past few months we hold up one finger and tell them "1 more minute and then (whatever the change is)". Then they continue whatever it is they were doing until I tell them time is up. Recently Easton and Layla caught on and beat us to the punch. When I say, "OK you two... it's almost time". they snap to attention and simultaneously hold up one finger while saying "1 more minute?!" I agree, then when 1 minute goes by I tell them it is time to do whatever the change is. When that formula is followed, Easton and Layla have happy hearts and smiles.

I don't know how difficult it is for other parents in these situation, but we nailed this one pretty quick.

Blessing: We still occasionally get the random people coming up to us asking if Easton and Layla are twins. Most people are congratulatory and openly jealous. I completely agree. We are extremely blessed to have twins. I'm surprised how many people comment on the additional luck of having a boy and a girl. From the beginning when we first expected twins neither of us cared about the gender. I admit it introduces its own set of complexities and benefits, but even to this day I feel indifferent about their gender. My sense of pride in their character and personalities is based solely on who they are. Every day I feel more blessed for their health, intelligence, and well-being. They are amazing.



Speaking of gender... somebody PLEASE make or buy Easton a superman cape so he can expand his imagination into male superhero roles. All of the dolls and movies of Cinderella and Snow White are starting to get to him! Somehow Easton ended up with Layla's poodle skirt. Nice.


That is what happens when I leave him at home with two girls while I'm at work! Then again, on that same day he displayed his boy-ness in all of its glory by smashing ants and throwing rocks in the green belt.


Such are the adventures of twins...

See you soon!

1 comment:

Margo said...

I've started giving 5 minutes warnings before transitioning - they don't know how long 5 minutes is yet but they know that is their signal!