I'm sitting at work on my lunch break and wanted to take a few minutes to share what's going on with me today. I am completely overwhelmed with feelings of thankfulness and love. That must be the cheesiest thing I've ever written in this blog, but it is what it is.
I've spent the day listening to various ballads and love songs? My ipod has a whole play list of nothing but songs from Sade, Joshua Kadison, Brian McKnight, and other similar artists. I even have the occasional Aerosmith ballad and they collectively are putting me in an emotional state that lends itself to these love-blog soliloquies.
I'm thankful for Kendra even more today than normal. I've been hearing about and helping with marital problems of some friends over the past few days. I'm incredibly thankful Kendra and I have such a strong relationship and are still in love the way we are. There isn't another woman on the planet who could love me as much as she does. I never want to take that for granted.
I miss my kitties who have been a part of every day of my life for the past 5 years. Some people can disconnect from pets easily and move on without grieving the loss. Part of the difficulty for Kendra and I is the change-averse nature of our personalities. I'd probably grieve the loss of a tooth brush if I had one for 5 years... That's just exaggerating, but part is truthful about how deeply attached we sometimes get to things of lower importance than human life.
The pain of missing Uncle Dave and the healing of my relationship with Aunt Mary puts things in perspective regarding what is important. We all make mistakes and none of us are perfect so I'm thankful for forgiveness and willingness to communicate. Tonight Mary and I are going to dinner together at "On the Border", the mexican restaurant Dave and I frequented every Tuesday for 5 years. This will be the first time I've been there since a year ago when Dave last felt healthy enough to get out of the house for our weekly fiesta.
Maybe it is my growing desire to just be home with Kendra and Easton and Layla. I miss them every minute I'm at work and wish the weekends were longer so we could have more time together. Hmmm... 4 day work weeks are starting to look really appealing to me! Last night Layla was having trouble falling asleep so I cuddled with her against me on the couch. She was facing outward with her fists clinched as always. when she finally had enough and couldn't keep her eyes open another second, she rolled towards me with her cheek against my chest and let out a big sigh of comfort. That was one of those moments I wish could happen to me every day for the rest of my life. However, I know she's growing up quick and those opportunities won't present themselves indefinitely.
Senator Dodd commented about the US economy: The chairman of the Banking, Housing and Urban Affairs Committee said “we’re literally days away from a complete meltdown of our financial system... " Whether you agree with the $800B tax payer financed bailout or not, we are where we are and that scares the begeezus out of me. Everything will most likely work out great and the US economy will find it's footing again, but the thought of "hard times" causes my brain to quickly figure out what's really important to me.
I'm sure it is a combination of all these unrelated aspects of my life, but one thing is clear: Being a parent and all that goes along with the responsibility reveals things about yourself that you never knew. I've known myself for 33 years, but new feelings pop up daily that never surfaced BC (before children).
Enough deep thoughts for today! i'll post the latest pictures and comments of Easton and Layla later tonight.
Bye bye
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