Marshmallow Test

Greetings!

Early-childhood development is one of many areas where I have absolutely no authority or knowledge. I saw a YouTube clip today related to this field that really has me worked up. Here is "The Marshmallow Test":



This may be old news and every other parent has figured out the relevance, but I'm at a loss. The concept of how the test works is easy to grasp. Isolate a kid in a room. Give him/her a marshmallow. Promise a second marshmallow when you return IF they don't eat the first one. Then leave the kid alone in the room.

Personally, I may have a tough time waiting even at my age. As I understand it, "How children behaved in the Mischel experiment turned out to be a good predictor of other behaviors later in life. For instance, those who couldn’t wait for the second treat had more behavioral problems in school and scored lower on standardized tests. Those who could wait scored higher, maintained friendships well, and handled stress better. "

Now, that part makes sense, but here is where I have serious questions... So what? So what if it proves a child will do better or worse in those areas. I'm not interested in testing why something (or someone) is operating improperly. I'm interested to know HOW TO AVOID a dysfunctional kid in those ways. What should or shouldn't I do? Or is this anything I (or Kendra) can have any impact at all? Notice this is different than asking how I can FIX it. I believe because of the age of our twins that we can impact them in the proper ways now instead of having to either accept problems or fix them further down the road.

When I find little things like this it has a tendency to eat at me until I discover the answer about root cause or I accept there is no answer except "all kids are different". I have a huge problem with the medical industry in a similar way in that most "solutions" are simply fixing the symptoms instead of the root cause. Let's say a plumber comes to your house to fix a leak. He says, "yep, there it is! I found exactly what the problem is..." and then he charges you $80 as he walks out the door. Not much help huh... Even if the plumber fixes the actual leak, I'm more interested to find out what should be done in the future to avoid leaks than I am in understanding exactly what he did to fix the existing one. Maybe it's just me?

The real question is, "How do you teach self-control?" The same can be said for good behavior in general, right?

Anyway, on to more enjoyable topics such as birthdays (plural) and burgers. On Saturday we attended a birthday party for Audrey, the 2-year-old girl of our friends. They have a big dog, which Easton and Layla were drawn to like a fly to a bug light. He was inside the swimming pool area behind the fence. Layla screamed with excitement as the dog jumped in the air to catch the ball she threw.


Easton assumed more of a spectator role by watching the dog leap out into the pool to fetch tennis balls. He's a smart boy alright! no chance for the dog to get his fingers as he poked his nose through the fence to chop at the ball.


By the way, he loves balloons! Kendra bought a special balloon with a butterfly on it for the birthday girl and Easton had a difficult time accepting we were going to give it away and not play with it. Luckily, we showed up and there were many regular balloons floating around for him to abuse.

Later in the afternoon we invited a few friends over for "mexican fiesta night". Each family (OK, the wives of each family) cooked a homemade entree and brought it over to combine into a fiesta. We were chasing kids around the house and having so much fun visiting that I didn't take many pictures. I did capture the meal time where Layla, Layla, and Easton were strapped into the high chairs as they smashed enchiladas into their mouths.


My apologies for the picture quality. The iPhone is an amazing piece of technology, but for the love of Pete, is it really that hard to put a decent camera on a phone?

The picture quality is also challenging because of the speed at which Layla zips around the room like a little Tinkerbelle fairy. My camera makes up for the lack of light by having the flash turned to "always on", but unfortunately the iPhone has no flash at all! Exhibit A:


I took about 5 pictures of Layla sitting and standing in the diaper box, but that one is the only semi-usable picture due to the rapid movement. Another example from Layla playing on our bed. She cuddled up in the "nook" against the wall between mommy and daddy's mound of pillows.


When deciding on dinner, we often have the "In-N-Out comparison" moment. I tell Kendra, "We can go get something for dinner, but when considering options, keep in mind we can all 4 eat at In-N-Out burger for $13". So every other option (including eating at home) is compared against how much it costs to go get burgers and fries.

We opted for In-N-Out on Friday night. Easton and Layla kept the goofy looking hats on just long enough to take a picture, but not one second longer. I can tell you exactly what each baby was thinking in these pictures:

"I don't like this hat one bit. Is it messing up my hair?"


We told Layla she can have another drink of daddy's chocolate shake if she holds still and keeps the hat on. She is thinking, "I have to wear this silly hat just to get a sip of a shake? I have RIGHTS, you know!"


And in closing I'll write myself a note so as not to forget: Be sure to tell Kendra if she calls me during one of her soccer games to ask, "where is the closest 24 hour urgent care hospital" that she is to preface the conversation by saying she is fine and not the injured person.

My heart may slow down to normal by this time tomorrow.

See you soon!