Friday, May 4, 2012

Kendra's Mommy Day

Hello friends and family,

I arrived safely at home, but frazzled from the San Diego conference.  All 4 Webbs were extremely happy to be back together again.  Seeing their smiles as they pulled up at the airport terminal to pick me up was such a welcoming event.

The only disappointment was to see Kendra sniffling and coughing.  There is no such thing as a timely sickness, but we have so much going on with work and social and church life that this was by far the worst possible timing.  This is one of those weeks where we feel so alone without family close by to help shoulder some of the load.  Only a few more weeks before we get to spend time with Kendra's extended family, but that doesn't make the current situation any more tolerable.  Even so, we'll certainly survive and I'm grateful we have each other.

I've been working on my own theories and key learnings about love.  One of those things every human being experienced on some level at some point in their lives.

My contrarian view is this:  It is impossible to fall in love.  It is easy to fall out of love.

I think people get this backwards all the time.  Most seem to think you stumble on someone and then just jump off a cliff and "fall" into love.  That isn't true.  Loving someone takes time, effort, and resources.  In short, it is a pursuance of a person that leads to love, which is a participant role not a spectator.  More importantly it takes those same components to stay in love;  Not perfection (thank God), but a persistent, intense focus on the most important person in your life.  Sometimes the "effort" component is simply accepting the other person just the way they are with all of their imperfections and failures as well as their talents and character.

The opposite is also true.  People say, "We just grew apart" as if some movement or growth took place in one or both, which resulted in the loss of love.  Bologna!  All one has to do to lose love is nothing.  Just jump off the cliff and do absolutely nothing but spectate.  Watch it happen, talk about it happening, complain about it.   That is spectating at its finest.  If love is a mountain and all relationships are dynamic, then climbing the mountain INTO love is a joy and a skill and a journey.  Falling off the mountain just takes one simple act of letting go and losing hope.

Please keep in mind this is all a work in progress as I make my own mistakes and cherish the successes.

OK, enough philosophy for one day.  On to the fun of twins.  Just like I experienced Dad's day at Easton and Layla's school a few months ago it was Kendra's turn to have a Mom's day.   The kids worked for weeks on the songs they sang.  Kendra said it was humorous and heart-warming.

Kendra captured one of my favorite pictures of the year so far.  I can't believe how old they are getting as they bloom right before my eyes every day.  They are best friends for sure.

 One of the special gifts they gave Kendra was a laminated craft with a poem and a hand print.  I'm sure we'll keep these forever.

Kendra looks so beautiful.  It took me several years to really figure it out, but each day I realize more and more how blessed I am to have her.  I'm the lucky one.  She is the love of my life and a great mother for kids.

Mother's Day is just around the corner.  This wasn't intended to be such a Mommy-focused post, but my gratitude for her doesn't need to wait for a specific day to be expressed.

Talk to you soon!


Anonymous said...

The pic of Kendra & twins is so beautiful! You sure did choose a keeper! She does such a great job as wife, mom& daughter. Miss u all &twins love u gobs. Mom

The Four Webbs said...

I agree, Mom. As the Grail Knight in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade said (paraphrased), "I have chosen... wisely."