Sunday, May 6, 2012

Got My New Shoes On

Howdy friends and family,

We are now on day 5 of Kendra's sickness.  Normally I despise boring talk about health and who's sick and what's wrong.  Talk to anyone over 70 (except GG) and the conversation will inevitably swerve into "what's wrong with me today" conversations.  Anyway, Kendra being sick is VERY significant because she is the engine that powers the 4 Webbs through the week.  With her idle in bed coughing and aching we are also at idle speed as a family.

I couldn't wait to get home from San Diego because I missed the other three Webbs so much.  This is the moment in the story where the writer would say, "little did he know...".  dum da dum dum!  I planned to jump back in as Daddy and Husband and then catch up on work, get back in the gym, read some books, see my friends.  Not so much.  This has been just one of those weeks when I hearken back to our wedding vows when I said, "in sickness and in health".  Almost 10 years ago I was referring to right now.

I've had enough patience and love and strength to take care of the home front as well as Kendra (to the best of my ability) while sleeping not so well along side my love.  She insisted I sleep in the guest bedroom, but I would rather be by her side and miss my REM sleep completely than alone in a bed on the other side of the house.  That's not just pride or chivalry, that is truly how much I love Kendra and want to be with her.

Anyway, Easton is still a big fan of Cars 2 and still pointing out that Rip Clutchgoneski is the only one he is missing from his complete set of racers.  I've gone to extremes to find the 1:55 scale Mattel version (not the 1:43 scale Disney mega size) and I'm convinced Disney DIDN'T produce this car just to make anal-retentive fathers like me scour the Earth in search of it.  I'd be better off digging for a real dinosaur fossil.

I'm glad he still enjoys playing with the ones he has.  In this picture below Layla is singing a song she made up about Mater.  She's a performer, for sure.

We were in line at the grocery store today and Layla was belting out a church song for all 8 people in our line including the checkout girl.  I just let her sing away because the last thing I ever want to do is dim her flame even one lux.

One of the dangers of Daddy going shopping is that I tend to impulse buy for Easton and Layla.  I am 100% sure Easton didn't have a good pair of sneakers at home.  They are either hand-me-downs which are too big or broken.  I'm tired of him wearing crocs everywhere so we went to find some new shoes.

Did you know Sports Authority carries only size 11 shoes and bigger?  guess what size Easton is...  10.  DSW carries NO children's shoes at all so I after measuring at Sports Authority we went to Carter's for our third attempt to find a store with his size.

Lucky for us they carry up to size 10!  I found a pair that lights up and has two velcro straps.  I'm not a big fan of tying shoe laces and the twins are not old enough to tie their own.  I'll stick with velcro for another year or so.

For some reason Easton and Layla have turned a corner in the growth of their mental capacity.  They used to test our boundaries occasionally or even accidentally.  Now they have taken it upon themselves to make it a continuous daily mantra of boundary testing.  Layla stands up in her chair and I say, "Layla, please don't stand in your chair.  We don't do that."  5 seconds later Easton stands up in his chair.  Almost as if to say, "I heard you say that to Layla, but do the same rules apply to me?"

Yes, they absolutely do.  We end up setting rules and boundaries twice for each one because they can't make the connection that what we say applies to both of them equally.  I know some day they'll get it though.  for now it is our job as parents to be consistent and compassionate.  After watching the movie, Buck, I am applying what he said about horses to Easton and Layla.  No, I'm not putting a saddle on them...  I'm starting from the position that they don't know any better because they haven't been shown what are the rules and boundaries of life. Once they know, then that's a different story, but it's unfair as parents to expect children to know what is acceptable and what is not.  What is right and what is wrong.  what is safe and what is dangerous.  That's my privilege to define that for them.  One day at a time.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

Until Easton and Layla start to define love on their own I am their definition of love.  They only  know what I share with them.  They only see what I do (and the commercials on TV, God help me).  They only hear what I say.  That is an awesome responsibility, which I take very seriously.

Today Easton had a break through of epic proportions.  We were out to lunch and just sat down.  Easton and Layla each had their own cup of water.  I asked both of them not to touch their water while I go get utensils so they knew what is expected.  Three forks later and I look over to see Layla's water soaking the table and her dress.  I walked over and Layla was pointing at Easton with pursed lips, a stiff arm, and a bony finger.  Easton stepped down from the booth to meet me and then the most incredible thing happened.

He said, "I disobeyed and touched Layla's cup.  Do you forgive me?"  To which I calmly replied, "I forgive you" as I gave him a big hug.  Then he said, "I will not touch Layla's cup again".

Finally!  After countless times of going through these situations he finally got it.  I know this because he willingly thought through what to do and walked through it step by step.  He knows forgiveness, good and bad consequences, obedience, and unconditional love.  This is by far the greatest accomplishment in parenting I've experienced in the past 4 years.  Kendra is a huge part of this since we co-parent, but I'm the lucky one that got to see the fruit of our efforts first.  By co-parent I mean we are constant through time and we are consistent with each other.  There is no, "just wait until your father gets home..." or "When Mom finds out what you did...".  We are on the same page and take care of business the same way no matter which one of us is with the twins.  That makes all the difference in the world.

See you soon!

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