Smarty McFarty

Greetings friends and family,

Friday night I had to break the bad news to Easton.  He's excited to go to school Saturday morning, but I had to tell him he doesn't get to go back for two days.  The disappointment was visible on his face.  This makes me the happiest parent of a kindergartner that ever lived.  Easton and Layla both have an excitement for school that is rooted in our parenting choices.  We chose to prepare them by describing the classroom experience as interesting and awesome.  They start each day with high expectations and that's their perception of school.  I know our job is just starting, but if these first two weeks are indications of what is to come then I say, "bring it on!"

Easton was comforted somewhat when he figured out Saturday was the birthday party for his friend.  These church kids are quickly become very close friends and I love to see it.

They went to see the movie "Planes", which I know will be right up Easton's alley.  I expect a fairly detailed description when we see him after the party is over.  It's Arizona in the summer time and there is an excessive heat advisory in effect for the next 48 hours so the possible Birthday party options are limited.

Unless you're a mountain biker who just bought a new bike.  Then it's a perfect time to go for a two hour ride in the blazing hot sun.  Luckily I conned a few buddies into enduring the heat with me.  When I pressed my helmet against my forehead, the squishy padding poured sweat onto the dirty trail like a faucet.  Well worth it!    

I've been watching Craigslist for a good deal on a used bike for the past several weeks with no real intention to buy.  then I ran across a half-priced deal on a virtually new dream bike.  I went to test out the bike and was greeted by a guy in a wheel chair in his garage.  He bought the bike new and then tragedy struck three months later.  He wrecked on another mountain bike he owned by going over the handle bars and hitting his head on a rock.  As a result he is permanently paralyzed from the waist down.  Talk about a sad story...  Sure made it difficult to talk him down on price, but I know a good deal when i see it so there wasn't much need to try.

It wasn't the wisest financial decision I've ever made, but after talking it over with Kendra I paid cash for it.  There is no other hobby or activity available here in Arizona that brings me as much pleasure as mountain biking.  At least, that's my justification for spending such a big chunk of change on a silly bike.

Anyway, we are preparing for Logan's wedding.  Kendra is on a crash diet and exercise regimen even though she already looks great.  I decided to shave my beard.  This is what I sent to the bride-to-be in a text message:

Bree, you are about to become my sister in two weeks!  Thank you for allowing me to be in your wedding.  You will have to live with my mug in your wedding party pictures for the rest of your life.  The wedding is about you, not me.  I consider your desires and happiness above my own because I realize the wedding pictures are important to you.  The question is: What facial hair do you want me to have on your special day?  Beard, goatee, or clean shaven?

She said shave it so here's the new (old) look!

While Easton is with his friends we invited the birthday boy's sister to come hang out with us.  Kendra set up a princess tea party complete with personalized place mats and real flowers.  I told the girls to give their best princess smile and this is the result.

Dancing in the living room followed, then swimming and lunch.  The atmosphere certainly shifted when we traded Easton for a second princess!  Having two girls would have been fun, but I like the balance of the Webb house when Easton is around.  I've been taking selfies for a decade, which is before they were even called selfies.  This used to be just me taking a picture of myself because usually I was alone.  Then came Kendra.  This is the first known self portrait of us two.

Times have sure changed, but the fulfillment in life is even greater as a family.  I call this picture "Smarty McFarty".

We are very cautious to avoid name calling and teasing.  We expect (and get) encouraging words and comments toward each other and everyone else we meet outside the home.  However, There are occasions to bend the rules and not be such a stick in the mud.  The twins affectionately call me "Captain Underpants".  I have no idea why that's funny to them, but the name came from Wreck-it Ralph a few months ago and just keeps coming up.  Kendra called Easton "Smarty McFarty", presumably because he is intelligent and flatulent.  We started calling each other that name and I captured the humor of the moment.  Being silly together as a family provides some of the best memories they will ever have.

Easton asked me, "Why do you take so many pictures of us"?  I answered, "Because some day you'll want more than just your perception of childhood to rely on as the truth of what life was like for you."  He agreed, but with a limited understanding of what I described.  Someday it will make sense to him.  This blog of our family will hopefully aid in explaining the realities of childhood that are missed by kids when they are in the midst of living it.  I'm finally starting to understand why I do this.  The purpose seems more clear with each passing year.

See you soon!

The Secret is Giving

Hola friends and family,

The twins began learning spanish already in kindergarten.  The first words Layla attempted to teach me were: amiga and amigo.  how fitting for two of the best friends to come from a single womb.

On saturday morning we did something together as a family I've been wanting to do for a long time.  last year I took the twins to organize donated food and give it to the less-fortunate.  Kendra didn't join us last time, but the 4 Webbs did it together this time.  We met at the church and all of us helped bag up the bread, produce, and cookies.  Easton wasn't "feeling it", but we had a few talks and he eventually changed his attitude.

After the food was bagged and loaded the participants split off in groups to go give it away.  We went with two gentlemen to an apartment complex and a trailer park.  We popped the back hatch and went door to door inviting people to come out and get free food.

While this was going on we explained to the twins how some people don't have food, toys, or love.  It was difficult for them to grasp the concept since they've never gone hungry for more than a couple of hours at a time.  A mentally and physically challenged girl played in the dirt next to her mom who was talking on her cell phone.  Kendra had the great idea for Layla to give the girl her sunglasses.  She has four pair of them.  Layla said, "but these are my favorite!  they have sparkles."  I explained that when we give, we give our best, not our leftovers or junk.  The twins had a few "ah ha" moments of appreciation and gratitude, but most importantly they experienced giving on a real level.  They gave their time, the church's donated food, sunglasses, and love.

If there is one thing I want our family to be known for it is unconditional generosity, which is giving without expecting anything in return.  The more we give, the more we prove we can be trusted to give more, and the cycle continues.

I uploaded the video from the first day I dropped them off at Kindergarten (Friday of their first week).  They gave me kisses and off they went; confident and comfortable.



This next picture is one of the funniest situations I've ever had to leave the room so as not to laugh out loud.  We invited a new church family over for lunch and swimming on Sunday.  Their two girls are shown here with my princess Layla.  When I asked them what princesses they were Layla said, I'm Merida, Chloe is Rapunzel, and Raylynn (the smallest one) is an Ewok.  I almost choked on my spit. She nailed it with her description and luckily the assignment of characters was not said meanly or taken with any malice.  They just stood there smiling and nodding their heads.

We went for lunch last week with some other families.  Most of us have young kids who sat together.  Easton and his friend Zander found alternative uses for their kids meal bags... hats.  The peer pressure and group think concerns are raring their heads way earlier in this parenting role than I expected.

I'd love to find a book called "what to expect with your kids go to kindergarten" because I am already astounded by the stuff that's coming up (good and bad) as a result of them entering the educational system and this fun age of kindergarten.

See you soon!

Kids in Kindergarten

Greetings friends and family,

We are proud parents of kindergarteners.  That statement sounds incredibly strange and evokes emotions I am still sorting through.  Even so, time marches on!  Kendra took pictures while I was out of town all week for work.  Kendra asked them what they want to be when they grown up.  Easton wants to be an astronaut!

Layla wants to be a ballerina ice skater.

My plan is to redo these "when I grow up" pictures each year all the way through college.  Will be very interesting to see how it changes as they find new passions.  I haven't questioned their kindergarten readiness even once over the past year.  Kendra and I worked diligently, but these two are so intelligent that I don't know how much credit to take.  Their school requires uniforms.  We are happy about that.  No need to keep up with the latest fashions and fads.  Every kid starts out as equals.  That is more important than allowing for kids to express their individuality.  Come on, they are five...

Even though they are in separate classes they spend recess playing together some.  Hearing about the fun they have learning and friends made is the highlight of my day whether I'm in town or not.  They will remain best friends and stick up for each other when the time comes.  knowing that provides an additional layer of peace when I think about them being in public school.

This is where the parents say, "good-bye" and they walk to their classroom door in the background.

I usually only post the pictures that turn out well, which amounts to about one out of every five taken.  I'm including this one because I wanted a picture of their faces and the backpacks to show what they have, but it didn't turn out like I'd hoped.  We saw it in the preview screen on the camera LCD and had a good laugh about how it didn't turn out.

Then there's this one.  Probably my favorite of the lot.  Showing their height difference, smiley faces, and the school in the background.

This is the real gem though.  Of all the pictures I wanted this one fits the most accurately.  Both of them ready to head to class waving good-bye.  I heard kids respond the same when they go to kindergarten on the first day as they will when they go to college on the first day.  What we can expect is confidence, security of who they are, and excitement for what's ahead.  There was no crying or belabouring the moment.  Easton and Layla gave us one quick hug and kiss good-bye and then off they went.

The M-F all day schedule is taking some getting used to.  They are happy to go to school, but don't understand why I didn't spend much time with them (in their eyes).  Reality is a funny thing.  The truth is I took off work Friday to spend the day with them from early release time 1:40 until 8:00 bedtime it wasn't enough.  Then when I spent several hours on Saturday swimming and playing it still wasn't enough.  However, in their minds I had lots more time to make up for because I was out of town.

Anyway, my friend had a Hape Quadrilla Twist Set Marble Run for sale and he gave it to me for $30!  It retails for $225 or so.  That is shocking to me, but apparently some people pay it!  We've set it up twice now and they have a blast playing with it.

There are eight separate levels or steps to build the one pictured in the next run.  I took the opportunity to teach them the proper steps to build something.  first gather the inventory.  For this part I had each one take the "foreman" role of telling the other kid what inventory or pieces were needed to complete the level.  Then provide instructions for how the other kid should connect each piece to the structure.  Watching them lead each other through such an exercise was both humorous and impressive.  Their personalities were on full display and they used such great, descriptive instructions that I was very proud of their efforts.

This coming week will be our first official week of the new norm.  I'm going to work, the twins are going to school, and Kendra will be on hunt for a part time job.

See you soon!

No More Travel, Please

Greetings friends and family,

I took a 4-day trip to Sacramento for work during Easton and Layla's first week of kindergarten.  I found some ridiculously huge sunglasses in my rental car.  Since I forgot mine at home it worked out well to use them while I was there.  Being stuck in meetings all day long didn't allow for much driving around during the daytime.  My boss requested I be present for the week long meeting of 40 top technical and management people.  I was as surprised as my boss with the way I led the conversations and provided recommendations for almost everything.  I had managers asking me for help afterwards who never even knew my name before this week.  As a gift the facilitators gave me $30 in gift cards to iTunes.  Sure is nice to be recognized, but I'm just happy to be a part of the solution!  The other picture is of the corporate jet I get to use for travel back and forth to my office in Sacramento.  Sounds kind of snooty when I write it out, but I'm just really grateful for the career and position I have.

With the exception of Logan and Bree's wedding in a few weeks we have no further travel plans for the next...  decade.  Yes, I know my beard is getting too long.  It's a combination of lazy and compliments from Kendra about how much she likes it.  The dude abides.

The timing was unfortunate because I really wanted to be here for the first few days of their kindergarten experience, but Kendra took pictures and we had a few video chat sessions to catch up.  There was never any doubt in my mind of whether Easton and Layla would acclimate well.  I had no anxiety about this week, but rather anticipation and excitement for them.  I find that whatever attitude we have towards something or someone is usually reflected in the twins' response.  If we are positive and excited about something then they are as well.  This works for church, school, policemen, and the principal.  I explained how the principal at school is the same as our pastor at church.  They met the principal this week and made a special effort to tell me how right I was about him being a nice guy who is there to help.

This morning the 4 Webbs went together to drop them off at school.  I took some video and other pictures, but this is the one I really wanted.  I am incredibly proud of them for being friendly, well-mannered, considerate, and smart.  Kendra is given credit for most, if not all of their character traits.

I took off work this afternoon to hang out with the twins.  I picked them up from school because I missed out doing that during their first few days.  I waited patiently in line with the 300 other moms in their minivans.  On the car ride home Layla told me how some boy gave her bouncy ball.  I can say one thing for sure:  I'm not ready for this.

By "this" I mean boys being interested in Layla.  I thought I had about 4 more years before I had to come to grips with this.  Apparently I had only 4 DAYS after the start of school and it's already here.  She also describe a different boy and girl in their kindergarten classes as "boyfriend and girlfriend".

Sweet Jesus, no.  Not yet.  I don't want to have these kinds of situations with Layla yet, but apparently these are days to start the discussions!

I can tell where their minds are focused based on what questions they ask me as I sit with them in their bed at night.  Here are the two questions I was asked tonight:

Layla - Why do you call me beautiful princess?
Easton - Why do volcanoes erupt?

My work is cut out for me, but I know I'm up to the challenge.  We have a whole weekend of fun planned starting bright and early Saturday morning when Easton, Mr. Happy Sunshine, comes bounding into our room at 7 'o crack in the morning.  I hope we get to go give out food to some poor families in the hood.  That's time well-spent.

See you soon (with better pictures from the week).

Ready for Kindergarten!

Greetings friends and family,

We have structure and guidelines and process in our daily routine, but being spontaneous can itself be built into the fabric of every day life.  Spontaneous means "Performed or occurring without premeditation or external stimulus".  I have some daily and weekly goals when it comes to fathering and being a husband.  One of those goals of be spontaneous at least once per week in a noticeable way.  This week I've been working normal days and only able to spend a few hours each night with us as a family.  I decided to take Kendra's taco dinner and turn it into a costume party.  Completely without premeditation and with enthusiasm.  As Kendra prepared the meal the three of us chose our costumes and convened at the dinner table.

I don't want the blog to be just a brag board to say "look how great I am", but there are so many great things about parenting that I fill up a blog with all those things because those are on my mind the most.    This is real, normal life for me and I don't hold much back.  I posted our costume picture on Facebook and I'm shocked by how many friends said something like, "wow, that's great.  I wish my (dad, husband, brother) did stuff like that."  I honestly don't know what goes on in the home of other dads because very few put themselves out there to share about their lives.  Because of this I only know my life and role as a dad to be normal.  Normal is whatever your current life is, for better or worse.

One of those "worse" moments happened while I was washing the Pilot in our driveway.  I invited the twins to play in the water and help me wash the car.  While I was scrubbing the hood I heard Easton say, "Let's help Dad was the engine."  I didn't think anything of it because I was washing the hood and they were at the rear of the car.  Then he said, "OK, i think the engine is clean because the water is shooting out of the other tail pipe."

uh-oh.  Now i had a suspicion of what they were doing.  I walked back to find Easton and Layla squatting down with the garden hose pumping water into my tailpipe!  You never know what's really in your heart until a little pressure is applied in a tough situation.  I could have screamed and shamed and disciplined Easton with complete justification.  but I didn't.  Without knowing whether or not this is an engine-ruining accident or not, I stayed calm and pulled the hose out of tail pipe.



Anyway, I'm grateful for these fun memories we get to have together as a family and the chance to be their hero for a few more years.

My Mom and Dad sent the twins personally addressed cards in the mail.  They've received a few of these over the years and it really means a lot to them.  Layla read her whole card with a little help from Kendra.  Easton read a few words and excitedly listened as I quoted the card and their encouraging comments.

Easton and I had some guy-time together at the barber shop.  He needed a haircut for school and I needed one for my management meetings.  I told him to give a sad face for the "before" picture.

We reviewed the picture together and I said, "what happened?  where is your sad face?"  He said, "Dad I don't have a sad face.  sorry."  Can't argue with that!

This was his first haircut at a real salon and not the kid friendly one where they have movies and high chairs. He did really well with conversing with the haircut lady.  So well that she gave him a token to get a huge rubber ball from the vending machine in the lobby.

After our haircuts we hung out in the bike shop looking so I could drool over them.  They didn't have the one I want in stock and I'm not ready to buy just yet anyway, but I'm itching to get back on the trail and ride.  About four months ago I sold my bike and gave the money to our church's building fund campaign towards our commitment.  I'm not sure how we will meet the number we committed to give, but we have two years to give it!  My point in selling the bike was to lead by example with what it means to give sacrificially.  If it doesn't cause some discomfort or hardship then it isn't sacrificial.  As my pastor says, "if it doesn't move you, it doesn't move God."

anyway, I decided not to get a new bike until our church members made pledges equal to the amount needed for the bank to agree to support our project.  I wasn't sure how long it would take for us to accomplish this goal, but we're done!  When we recover financially from the greatest vacation of all times and the major home repairs I'll be on the hunt so I can get back on the trail.

Meet the teacher night was a new experience for all of us.  The school opted to split Easton and Layla between classes and teachers.  We are going along with their recommendation.  Easton's teacher is more passionate about science and math whereas Kendra's teacher is more passionate about arts and creativity.

Easton tried to put his name tag on a desk towards the back of the room, but was easily convinced to move forward to the second row.

Layla walked directly to the front row in the middle and chose her kindergarten fait.  I foresee much hand raising to answer questions and awards for participation.  I'm fairly certain my sister's kindergarten experience was very similar.

Layla met her teacher and became an instant candidate for teacher's pet.  There is nothing wrong with making a good first impression on those in authority.

I explained to the twins how they were going to be in separate rooms (connected with a door) with separate teachers.  They only had one question:  "will we still get to have recess together?"  I said "yes!" and they were perfectly fine with the idea.  Best friends, even in separate classes.

Kendra and I are more apprehensive than the twins about their start in kindergarten, but we know they will do very well.

See you soon!

Target Practice

Greetings friends and family,

First off, I'd like to share with you a picture of my ridiculously photogenic wife.  She stands out in her group of attractive moms like a jewel.  I am blessed to have a wife like Kendra who takes care of herself.  This is from our trip to Sacramento, but just now saw it posted by her friend.

Back at home we're savoring the last bits of pre-kindergarten life.  I would say last bits of summer, but summer lasts well beyond the start of school next week.  Easton asked to wear his long Tom and Jerry pajama pants in spite of the hot weather.  Layla asked to wear her silky long pajama pants.  These are the battles not worth fighting.  I continually ask the twins and myself the greatest question, "why not?"  Will they be hot and kick the covers off?  Yeah, but so what.  I want to provide an environment where they can fail and learn while the penalty for failure is low.    

The same thing happened yesterday after dinner.  The twins were discussing how mean I was for not taking them to the park during the last few weeks.  I asked what is the reason why Daddy doesn't take them.  They couldn't figure out that 109 degrees is too hot to play in the sand and on the hot playground equipment.  Rather than try to convince them of why I'm right I said, "OK, if you want to go to the park, let's go and you'll understand why I haven't taken you."

Off we went through the greenbelt on a short walk to the neighborhood park.  Upon arrival their crocs came off and their feet were introduced to hot sand.  That didn't feel good so they put the crocs on.  Then they climbed on the playground.  They discovered the slides are too hot to slide on and the steps are too hot to stand on.  THEY discovered.  I probably would have been ok with a few minutes of explanation, but having them experience the truth for themselves means much more than my words.

We played tag in the grass for a few minutes and then the heat got to them quickly.  they were sweating and red-cheeked and asking for water.  I said, "do you understand why Daddy hasn't taken you to the playground lately?"  They answered with an emphatic, "Yes!" and back inside we went for a tall glass of ice water.

In all the training and experience I've been through lately I'm seeing the world more clearly.  Because they believe I'm a mean guy who keeps them from having fun in the park, then they believe a lie.  The best way for them to know the truth should be by hearing my response and choosing to trust me.  When that doesn't happen then the next best thing is allowing them to experience a small level of self-inflicted pain (hot sand and playground equipment) so they can know the truth that it is too hot to play outside.

I'd say the summation of my goal is to do a better job of preparing Easton and Layla for the world instead of protecting them from it. If I can get them to learn important lessons early in life then I will more easily trust them later.

In other news, I went camping in Peyson with about 50 men from church.  Part of the camping experience was a golf outing for those of us with clubs.  Notice I didn't say "for those of us who are good at golf".  I've played some bad golf, but this crew of 8 guys was incredibly inadequate.  Even so, it was one of the most enjoyable golf outings ever.  The course was slow where we had lots of time to converse and joke around.  Much of the time was spent searching for errant golf balls, but even in that there is camaraderie.  I called this the double stuffed Oreo golf outing because us two white guys are stuck between my dark-skinned brothers.  It's nice to be in healthy relations with guys who strengthen and lead each other to be better husbands, fathers, and servants.

I gave Rick a place in my tent and an air mattress as well.  He was ill prepared, but luckily I was over prepared.  We had some great talks about working through some areas in his life. He had breakthroughs in personal freedom on such a deep level.  This outcome of the camping trip would have been enough to make it worth my time.

Most guys brought guns.  We drove out to a desolate area and had target practice for over two hours!  Here's me firing an AR-15 for the first time.

and the AK-47.  Can't believe this gun design is from the 1940's because it was powerful and responsive.  Made me want a rifle, but not bad enough to buy one at these inflated prices today.  I'm content with my more-than-capable Glock 9mm.  Maybe when Layla begins dating I'll borrow a friend's rifle to clean.

The whole camping trip was only 48 hours, but the highlight for me was getting to speak to the entire crew over the campfire.  I spoke about what I knew would be most helpful to this group of men and then opened it up for conversation.  I was amazed by how honest and real guys can be out in the middle of the woods with only other men around.  It was a rare glimpse into the way we should be living life every day, but often get stuck in pride, ego, fear and insecurity and a number of other reasons men choose to avoid transparency.  This was not of of those times.  What started here was a connection between imperfect men across many social, racial, and age groups.  The one thing we all have in common is our belief system and that seems to be enough.  I can't wait to see what catches fire from the small flame lit this night.

Here's the only picture we took of the group.  Quite a diverse group of guys.  The bonding experience of doing something or doing nothing, like sitting quietly by the campfire, together was seriously rewarding.

Back at home while I was camping it up Kendra kept the home fires burning.  or cooling, as it were on a summer weekend here in Phoenix.  One of the crafts she worked through with them was to paint ceramic magnets for the fridge.

Easton doesn't have a strong passion for art, but because it was a car and motorcycle he happily added some color in order to hang his on the fridge.

Layla is already falling into the convergent thinking trap.  She's convinced there is a right way and wrong way to paint and colors must match exactly.  She is our "color inside the lines" girl, which is fine.  I just want to make sure she knows there are many ways to express her artistic nature, which applies to art, music, dance, and personality.

Kendra set up a play date with Easton's best friend, Elliot.  I have no idea how that went or what happened, but it was one of the first things Easton told me about when I arrived home after the campout.  We also learned yesterday who Easton and Layla's teachers will be this coming year.  Their school has two kindergarten classes and they will not be in the same class.  Kendra and I both wanted them to be in the same class after discussing the pros and cons, but apparently that's not the standard procedure for the school.  At least Easton has his friend Will in his class...

Also while I was gone Kendra had a real tea party with Layla.  They made use of her plastic tea party set and ate some special treats together.  Layla makes a terrific Ariel.

On the way home from our meeting with the Young Adults group at church I noticed a lady with her car stalled in the middle of the busy street.  Kendra stayed at church so it was just the twins and I.  I pulled over to the side of the road and jumped out to push her through the intersection and get her a tow truck.  Afterwards we went to eat pizza because I spent our dinner preparation time helping the lady.  While at dinner Layla asked why I helped a stranger.  Talk about a teachable moment!  I went through the whole Good Samaritan story and the golden rule.  This is another example of what mean by preparing Easton and Layla for the world instead of protecting them from it.  It would have been easy to justify not standing around in the hot sun or the danger of pushing a car across a busy street, but I want them to see my beliefs in action to go along with what I say.  Their reward for obeying by staying in the car was piece of chocolate in the form of a pirate coin from the pizza place.

I took captured this gem while we were rough housing.  They both get a kick out of wrestling and playing tag and jumping up and down on my stomach.  Soon they will be too big for me to keep them from escaping by simply holding onto their feet with one hand.

Next week our world changes because they will begin 16 years of all-day schooling.  I'm excited and happy for them, but it's difficult to let go.  To know they are going to be in someone else's care for the majority of their week.  I've been comforted for the past five years as Kendra stayed at home with them virtually 24x7x365.  Now I have to put my trust in a school system with classrooms full of kids who certainly won't be as kind and encouraging as we have been as parents.

Their naivety in thinking other kids are kind, well mannered, giving, loving, and friendly will soon be colored by interactions with kids who aren't like them.  We've been responsible for their day to day environment with complete influence, but next week they will need to begin influencing their own environment, for the better.  Their transition into kindergarten is turning out to be a much bigger emotional deal than anyone ever told me about.  I'm not worried, just mourning the shift of gears for the twins maturing.  Greater days are ahead of the twins, I know, but these are the days I wish would never change and last forever.

See you soon!