Nobody Hurry

Greetings friends and family,

We've got a couple of runners on our hands here.  Easton and Layla participated in the fun run at school.  What I mean is they were forcefully coerced to run around their playground to extort money from the parents.  Cleaver scheme if I've ever heard one.  Get the parents to pledge $1 per lap and then have them run around a basketball court as a "lap".  Well played, school system... well played.

It was almost worth it for the twins to have their lap counter fully filled in to indicate they ran the race all the way to the finish!  I am proud of them for completing the race.

Every Friday Easton has the opportunity to choose any book in the entire school library to bring home for a week of reading.  He pulled out this book with a passion I haven't seen since he first read about the Titanic.  It's titled, "The Disaster of the Hindenburg".

He started telling me all about how the airship went down in flames killing almost everyone on board.  I don't understand his interest in explosions and disasters, but that's not my role.  As a father I'm designed to help him find his passions and let him ride those waves as long and far as he likes.

Valentines Day was odd this year.  Kendra and I weren't in the holiday spirit so to speak.  We've had such busyness individually that we decided to make it a family day.  Most couples do the flowers, dinner, and movie, but we just wanted to be together as a family and rest.  There is nothing wrong with the standard Valentines routine, but I prefer to avoid the extremely crowded restaurants, high-priced flowers, and boring idea of sitting in the dark for two hours watching mindless nonsense.

It's just my opinion and last time I checked our government hasn't completely shredded the first amendment yet.   Anyway, there is nothing wrong with that Valentine's Day plan.  The question isn't about whether it is good or bad.  the question is: Does it bring life or is it simply following the written or unwritten rules of our culture.  There will be a time soon when I take Kendra out on a romantic date because I can't wait to be alone with her.  I will surprise her with flowers one day when I get the sense she could use a pick-me-up.  I will go to a chick-flick with her and be excited for whatever movie she is interested to see because I am interested in what she finds important.  Those are reasons to DO the things people do on Valentine's Day.  I just don't need a calendar day to tell me to do that.  I need a sensitivity to my wife to understand what she needs and wants.

OK, that's my soapbox for the day.    We rode our bikes to the breakfast place about two miles away. Each of us pedaling our own bike leisurely through the neighborhood.  Our time together over breakfast was extra special because nobody had to use the word "hurry!"  not even once.

Then we went to Costco for some bulk groceries (everyone needs an 80 pack of soup, right?).  The twins wore their Heely shoes and rode all around the store hanging on the shopping cart.  When we strolled up to the checkout line, the checker guy asked if Easton and Layla wanted to scan the items.  Of course Layla jumped all over that opportunity.

Easton took a turn also, but took much more time to scan because he was asking all these questions about how the scanner works and what the red laser lines do.  "Way to be inquisitive!" is how I responded to him.  Especially since none of us were in a hurry.

We also started our garden.  Well... kind of.  We have a separate value for the garden sprinkler system and we have a lovely area in the back corner of our yard where a garden could grow.  However, we have zero experience growing food so we asked our friends to help.  We brought over pots and learned from them how to plant.  The pots will stay at their house as we continue to learn through this season.  Then when the fall comes around we'll be ready to get our hands dirty in our own backyard.  Easton had a crash course in laying paver stones.  He learned the direction to lay them, how to make them level, and what order makes the pattern.  What a great helper he is becoming!

Layla also joined in the brick laying.  Her focus was on the texture and beauty of the bricks.  She just has a completely different focus than Easton, which is perfectly fine by me.  They both get the job done.  The way they do it is slightly different.  And besides, we weren't in a hurry!

The twins took about three days to become proficient with the Heely shoes.  Layla learned by watching a two minute video.  The next thing I saw was Layla wheeling down the hallway.  Easton watched the video, but kept putting his feet out like water skiers.  Then he watched Layla, She taught him how, then he tried and fell several times, then after a couple of days he got the hang of it.  Here's a picture of both of them rolling along.  

I know I posted a picture of the twins with their Heely present, but here's the video of their reactions.  Thanks to Nana and Papa for giving them the gift that keeps on giving.

The other thing we squeezed in on Valentine's day was a night ride for just Easton and I.  Layla and Kendra had a spa night with face washing, fingernail painting, and pampering.  Easton really wanted to hit the trail and experience the night life.  We arrived right at sunset to hear the sounds of a coyote pack off in the distance.  We kept our lights off for the first few yards of the trail to get adjusted to the night.  We rode four miles without a single cut or scratch.  Nothing behind us but the blackness of night over the desert.  The temperature was perfect and we both left with huge smiles.  That was a great Valentines Day.  Nobody said hurry even once, which is a rare day for the Webb household.

Sunday was a typical Sunday for us in this season of life and ministry.  I showed up at church by 8:30 am, took a short break in the afternoon to prepare for class that night, and then we arrived home after 9:00pm at night.  Such a long day, but completely worth the effort because we get an up-close view of what life-change looks like.  The class is going extremely well and Kendra is doing a great job of leading as usual.

Monday morning arrived and we took full advantage of the three-day-weekend.  Layla woke up late, but still managed to beat Easton out of bed. That's happened about 5 times in their entire lives.  We slummed around the house in our pajamas way too long, but nobody cared.  When we got our stuff together I took the twins to the Arizona Science Center.  The first thing we did was the planetarium because they had a new show about "extreme planets".  Easton was amazed and happy.  Layla was worried we were going to literally be sucked into a black hole.

The rest of the trip was great for both of them.  This spinning pole mounted to a metal plate was the highlight for Layla.  She pulled her ice skating moves to rotate super fast until she became so dizzy she had to stop.

Easton was a little clumsy, but did a fine job of spinning around.  He considers this G-force practice for astronaut training.

The three of us had a fun Daddy day together with minimal cost thanks to the Groupon membership.

It's amazing how quickly three-day weekends go no matter how productive or lazy I am.  It was definitely a great use of our days off.  Time to get back to the normal work-life balance starting tomorrow with many occasions to use the word, "hurry!"

See you soon

Happy Birth-WEEK?

Greetings friends and family,

Easton and Layla's birthday week came to a close in fine fashion.  They appreciate the cards and phone calls and Skype sessions.  The mundane trips to the mailbox became a daily moment of anticipation for what would come with their name on it.  I get bills, Kendra gets coupons, and the kids get all the coolest, most desirable things.

Layla reads her cards often.  For the first time in their 7 years of birthdays, they can read their whole card from start to finish.

Do I feel useless as a parent now that I'm not longer needed to read their cards?  Of course not!  That's one of the main focuses of being a good parent; to empower them to be independent or rather, interdependent.

Easton took his birthday money to Toys 'R Us and went straight to the Lego Star Wars aisle.  He bought the biggest, most expensive set his money could get.  By the time we got home and ready for bed he was already 25% done with the spaceship.  We did our bedtime routine and I sent him to bed.  Kendra and I did all the busy work stuff that we put off until the kids go to bed.  

The next morning Kendra walked into Easton's room and found his ship was magically done.  He stayed up late without our knowing and put it together.  This created a couple of problems for us.

Easton made a bad choice by crossing the boundary of staying in bed when it's bed time.  For that, he had a bad consequence of a two-day timeout from the space ship.  However, Layla loudly proclaimed, "I heard Legos in Easton's room last night."  Easton became angry because she tattle tailed.  He quickly chimed in with, "Well, how did you know that unless you were out of your bed in the hallway listening?"  Aha!  He got her on that point.  So Layla had her own bad consequence.

I was impressed by Easton's passion for building his Lego set. I had a hard time giving bad consequences because he wasn't causing any problems or doing something bad.  He just wasn't doing what we asked.  Gotta pick your battles.

I got out for a mountain bike ride with my friend David.  That made my day.  The longest sickness I've ever had is finally almost gone.  It's gone enough that I don't sound like I'm going to keel over dead when I cough even when I'm huffing and puffing up a hill.  I can't wait for a time soon when I can get away for a few days of mountain biking fun instead of always squishing it into a 90 minute block of time.

Easton and Layla's final birthday celebration included Uncle Logan and Aunt Bree.  the two of them came over for dinner, card games, and to help the twins with their homemade Valentine's day cards.  Yes, you read correctly.  Kendra is so frugal she avoided buying two boxes of Valentine's day cards for the twins.  Instead, she pulled out some pink paper, cut it into strips and gave the kids a pen to write with.  Logan and Bree were kind enough to help them stay interested long enough to complete the task.  As you can see by Easton's frown, he could care less about Valentine's day and all the "lovey lovey" stuff.

Angel food cake with fresh strawberries was a delicious way to sing happy birthday for the last time.  Easton ate it too fast and felt sick.  Kendra helped him gag and he puked it out.  I know that's gross, but I will always remember this as the angel food cake puke incident.  Easton learned his lesson about stuffing an enormous piece of cake down this throat too quickly.  I can tell he won't do that again!

Logan and Bree gave good bedtime hugs good night for the twins as they headed off to bed.  Bree's pink hair matched Layla's pink polka dots really well!  This was the only family we had visit the twins this year for their birthday.  Kendra and I had hoped for out of towners to come visit, but we understand how the timing didn't work out.  The twins were not terribly disappointed because we had so many events, activities, meals, and Bree and Logan.  They were overwhelmed with love and attention this past week.  I consider it to be completely successful!

The twins have Monday off from school and I have it off from work!  Time to have some outdoor family time.  We have big plans of hiking, biking, picnicking, playing, shopping, and even some time to just sit around and do nothing.  Maybe even some chores if we plan well enough.

See you soon!

Happy 7th Birthday

Greetings friends and family,

Today is a record for the number of days I've been a father:  Seven years.  I would be shocked if any parent in the history of parenting would say, "Time has gone by so slow these past few years" at a child's seventh birthday.  I see this as a fast-paced sprint through the woods at night... in the fog... where I pause for a brief moment to catch my breath and realize this:

I have no idea where I've been
I have no idea where I am right now
I have no idea where I'm going
Oh well...  I'll keep running!

There isn't a clear well-groomed path behind me where I can point some other new father towards.  Likewise, there is no path in front of me or a map with a big "you are here" star on a path.  Even more troubling, there is no measure or data or metric to indicate where I SHOULD be at this great milestone of parenting seven-year-old twins.

No dad can tell me where to go next and I have no clear answer for other dads who look up to me.  This is not frightening or concerning at all though.  It is freeing.  I realize there are guidelines and boundaries and good and evil, but that's not what I live from each day.  it's a constant evaluation of each new day.  I compare it to being dealt a new hand of cards every morning without knowing what game is being played.  knowing what cards are in my hand is only half the battle.  Are we playing poker or old maid or go fish?  It's that kind of daily mystery that I find so intensely fun about parenting.

Anyway, This was the first time I held these two bundles of joy in my hands at the same time.

Seven years later they are so tall I can barely pick one of them up with all my strength and both arms.  We shared a chocolate Costco butter cream cake after Easton and Layla blew out the candles together.

Neither of them asked for a separate party or cake or attention.  One of the measures of their success as a twin is whether they can be themselves as individuals whether they are isolated or together or in a huge crowd.  As you can see they have no problem being who they were created to be.

A few months ago we asked what they wanted for their birthday.  They chatted for a while and said "a sleep over with Zander and Joya!"  They are church friends who's parents are also our friends.  We agreed and took it a step further by setting up a family sleep over.  All four of them stayed the night at our house so we had a 24 hour birthday celebration.  To start with I took the four kids to a golf lesson.  The twins were able to bring a friend for free so we made the most of it.

Easton and Zander did an OK job of paying attention to the instructor.  Zander is athletic so the two boys had a great time swinging the clubs.

Layla spent part of her lesson conversing with the instructor.  I have no idea what they talked about but I enjoy watching her speak to adults with such great confidence and respect.

The weather was perfect and they all had a great time.  Traffic was a nightmare going home, but we had pizza for dinner before the birthday cake and official song.

Their friend's mom and dad are the worship leaders at our church so the happy birthday song was extra special.  Not many kids can say they were sung to by the worship leaders.  There were only a few presents this year because we didn't have a huge party with tons of kids.  The twins were completely fine with this.  They each had one gift from their friends and one gift from Nana and Papa to open.  The birthday celebration was not hampered one bit by the small number of gifts.  Nana and Papa bought them Heely shoes.  They have a wheel in each heel, which allows them to skate across the floor.  They were super excited to get the gifts and appreciative too.

The kids played in the hot tub then went to bed.  The adults had our time in the hot tub and then crashed too.  The next morning we had a huge breakfast together and hung out.  We enjoyed simple things like riding bikes and playing in the park and throwing a football.  Then we did the only event Easton and Layla requested.  We went ice skating together!  Kendra's back still isn't fully recovered so she and the other mom watched from the cold bleachers.  Easton was so proud to teach Zander how to skate.  There aren't many things Easton does better than Zander, but this is one of them!

Us two dads skated our way around the rink making sure not to run over any little kids or get taken out by the overly aggressive hockey dudes.

Easton and Layla gladly smashed their face against the window when I suggested we do this for a silly picture.

We all did it and laughed for a whole lap around the rink.

The zamboni took its turn around the rink to smooth it out.  We had a group photo opportunity without the glass bouncing the flash back at the camera.  I'd say ice skating is the highlight of the birthday weekend because the twins will remember it the most.

After our friends left Layla still wanted to skate more so I went with her.  She was showing me some moves and I caught a video of her skating around the center of the ice.

 One of the many things I've learned from my own life as well as being a father is this:  It is MY responsibility as a dad to pursue relationship with my child.  and even more importantly I should be interested in what Easton and Layla are passionate about.  I've seen too many fathers who simply live their lives and allow their kid to join them in what the father is doing instead of taking an interest in what the kid likes.  That model of "lead by example" without showing interest will only work as long as the parent and child pursue the same passions.

Layla asked if I would help her color her new purse.  You bet I would!  It's a good sized back that comes with markers.  We decorated it exactly as she wanted.  I will continue to be interested in what she likes for as long as i live.  Getting down on her level to do what she wants is the most valuable way I can spend my time.

Easton asked if I would help him work through a problem he hit in building his new Lego helicopter.  You bet I will!  We worked backwards through the directions, fixed the misplaced Lego, and finished it up.

I am blessed to have two kids who invite me into their world.  They expect me to get on their level and be interested in what they love.  That makes me happy.  They will relate to God in the same way.  One of my favorite verses says, "Let us then approach God's throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need."  This implies relationship.  It's not possible to have this kind of mentality without relationship.

How can a child expect to approach their Heavenly father boldly in their time of need if their Earthly father wouldn't give them the time of day?

I am content in knowing Easton and Layla will have no problem asking God for help.  This is possibly my greatest accomplishment in seven years of being a father.

Relationship.

Happy Birthday to my Easton and Layla.

Sleep Recommendations

Greetings friends and family,

I feel a small sense of vindication for my nazi-like tenacity of keeping the twins on a sleep schedule.  The recommendations for age categories from newborns to older adults were published this week in the foundation's journal Sleep Health.  Here are their recommended sleep times:

Zero to three months of age: 14 to 17 hours
Four to 11 months of age: 12 to 15 hours
One to two years of age: 11 to 14 hours
Three to five years of age: 10 to 13 hours
Six to 13 years of age: nine to 11 hours
14 to 17 years of age: eight to 10 hours
18 to 25 years of age: seven to nine hours
26 to 64 years of age: seven to nine hours
65 and older: seven to eight hours

Easton and Layla are six, turning seven on Saturday.  That means within the past year they moved from the 10-13 hour range to the 9-11 hour range.  For the past 4 years or so they've gone to bed around 7:00 and slept from about 7:30pm to 6:45am every night.  That's 11 hours regularly.  Even so, I still endure Layla's slow, crabby wake up every morning.  Easton pops up like a happy bouquet of fake flower out of a magician's wand, but then again he sleeps like a hibernating prairie dog.  I'm not judging other parent's sleep enforcement, but a six-year-old going to bed at midnight and waking up at 6:00am is completely insane and unhealthy.  Layla asked me, "Why do some parents let their little kids stay up so late?"  I said, "Because they don't know any better".  Not much else I can say to that.

Anyway, the big news around our house is that Daddy hence forth decrees the "lights out" bedtime for Easton and Layla will be moved from 7:00 to 7:30.  Basically I'm giving them 30 minutes of reading time in bed if they make good choices during the day.  We'll call this a test phase and see how it goes.

At some point in fatherhood, the focus of my caring shifted dramatically.  I used to care what other people thought about me. I devoted my money and time towards ensuring my outwardly visible life was cool or acceptable.  However, now I have no cares at all when it comes to that.  I am genuinely shameless now.  I used to even care about how things looked to others even when no "others" were around and I was alone.  The shift happened somewhere close to when Easton and Layla arrived on Earth seven years ago.  Now I go out in public in my zip-up UniLazy onesie and drink from My Little Pony cups.  Part of my personal journey of freedom is being free from other people's views and opinions of me.

One of my proudest moments as a father happened the other day while Kendra and I drove the kids to school.  We were talking and I heard Layla's voice turn into story-telling tone.  I turned to see the two of them reading a book of Bible stories. They were both intensely interested and paused occasionally to discuss the details of a story.  It is possible to force kids to go to church, but it's not possible to force them to have a desire for the things of God.  We are blessed to have Easton and Layla voluntarily seeking God on their own.  Another fun conversation we had around the big bang theory ended when I said, "and what do those people say when you ask who made the stuff that exploded during the big bang?"  Silence...  Easton said, "I bet they don't have an answer for that."  He's right.

I am coming out of the longest lasting sickness I've ever had.  Almost 6 weeks of wheezing and sneezing.  The past few days gave me a little peek into what it feels like to be "well".  It's been so long that simply feeling normal and healthy is amazing.  A coworker asked me, "where do you want to go for lunch?"  I saw my calendar was open for the hour after lunch so I said, "I want to go to the trail and eat some dirt and fiber". (my bike frame is made of carbon fiber)  I went home, loaded up my gear and rode for over an hour straight.  Felt so good I was literally howling like a coyote going down the mountain.

The past few weeks have been so insanely busy that I didn't even notice that a groupon was about to expire.  I've been waiting for the 4 Webbs to have an evening free to go rock climbing at the indoor gym.  That never happened and since Kendra is still sick and healing from back problems I knew she wouldn't make it out with us.

The twins and I showed up after school and climbed for over two hours.  They were overwhelmed by the size of the indoor facility and the number of rock walls to climb.  I relearned how to belay someone and then taught the twins how to tie their rope.  Layla is so strong she pulled herself up the walls using her arm strength.  not exactly the best technique, but it works and she's learning well.

Easton was more interested in playing with the ropes than in climbing them, but he did really well.  He wasn't able to reach the top of the wall, but not for lack of strength.  His issues were related to beliefs and fears.  He trusted me and the rope and wall, but once he got to a certain height he would give up and enjoy the ride down.

We wore our Star Wars shirts together.  The main point was to have some silly kid play fun with them.  We absolutely accomplished that here.  

They asked when we can come back and begged me to stay longer this time.  I don't think we have time or money to add another sport into their weekly routines, but I foresee this being a once-a-month outing... especially if they have A/C in the summer.

We are all excited for their birthday weekend, but will miss having family around.  This will be the first time I can remember where we have NO family visiting around their birthday.  There are plenty of circumstances and justifiable reasons why so don't think I'm giving any of you all a guilt trip.  We love to have family around and even more so when a birthday celebration is on tap.

Kendra and I decided not to do a big party this year.  We're kind of partied out from hosting events non-stop.  Our plans are to invite our friends and their two kids over for a birthday weekend.  The whole family is staying with us!  Easton and Layla want everyone to go ice skating and play games at home.  No problem!  We can certainly do that.

See you soon!

Richer than Tiger and Kobe

Greetings friends and family,

I realized an amazing fact this week.  What do Tiger Woods, Kobe Bryant, and I have in common?  Two things...  We are 39 years old and our bodies are showing signs of wear.  However, we have some things that are very different.  For example, they have a few million more dollars than me, but my income doesn't depend on the physical activity required to keep up with 21 year olds.  Those two legends are, by most standards, very old guys in their career.  While I'm over here just getting into my prime with my career.  Would I like to retire at age 39?  well, yes.  Although I am certain that the last 20 years of Tiger and Kobe's lives have been completely consumed with their sport whereas my life has been relatively stress free and 100 times more balanced when it comes to taking time for my wife, kids, giving of my time in ministry, and having hobbies.  Retiring at 39 doesn't sound appealing if it meant missing out on the last decade with Kendra and the past 7 years with the twins.

I am richer than Tiger and Kobe in many ways beyond money.  Easton and Layla alone put me way ahead of those two guys.  I mean, how much is it worth to share a teeter-totter with these two on the other end?  There is no price tag I could put on being their superhero, hearing their giggles and laughs, and riding bikes to the park together.  

I picked the kids up from school because Kendra is still very sick (but resting).  We stopped by Jamba Juice on the way home and I noticed Easton's shirt was filthy dirty.  He proudly showed me his blood and mud and marker stained shirt. I said, "dude! what happened?"  he said, "you know... just school stuff."  He is 100% boy.

Layla has some victories and struggles to talk about.  The struggle is because she chose to hide her music and movie player in her room and then stayed up very late one night watching a movie.  I'm not sure what is going on with her when it comes to hiding things from us, but we're determined to get to the bottom of it.  The victories are in school work and self-confidence.  She scored well on her standardized testing and is getting more and more comfortable with math problems.  her new front tooth is on it's way down and the other one is starting to wiggle it's way out.  

Our house is being used as a training ground for ministry.  This is what we envisioned three years ago when we moved in.  We are leading such a large group of leaders that this is the only place big enough to conduct training.

Just being a part of the group brings a smile to my face.

Speaking of our house...  I'm not a great handy man, but I fixed a problem that's bugged me since I first spent time in this house 16 years ago with Aunt Mary.  The laundry room out to the garage is always dark.  The light switch on the wall is constantly moving because I can never find the switch when i come in or go out.  I fixed this by swapping out the switch for a motion detector.  It works like a charm and will probably be the best $20 I've spent on the house in a long time.  I like to celebrate the little victories...

Easton and Layla are proficient enough in riding bikes that we can make it 1.3 miles to the wee-bump park.  We call it that because when they were two years old they would go down the slide and I'd say "weeeeeee, BUMP" as they fell off the end and hit their butt on the sand.  They installed lots of new playground equipment since last year so they are excited to go play.  The teeter-totter is a big reason they like it here.

and here is the slide I mentioned.  They still get lots of enjoyment from sliding down and climbing up.

Superbowl was the finish line for our slightly stressful week.  We spoke at three services for church and managed the whole thing while the pastor is out of state.  It's one thing to be allowed into the pulpit, but it's a whole 'nother level of trust for the pastor to not even be in the same state for the weekend.  We made him proud, i think.  Kendra and I were both coming down with another round of flu-like symptoms in the days before our time on stage.  We held it together very well though.  After the Sunday morning services we went straight home and hosted and all-day Superbowl party for our friends.  In hind-sight we should have just said "too bad, we can't do it." but we opened our house and fed 20 or so people.  I'm glad we did because entertaining and friendship is a real source of enjoyment for me.

The video feed wasn't captured correctly so this is the only proof we actually did it.  We hoped the video was captured and would be made available, but that's not going to happen.  Oh well...  We made it through the most intense speaking engagement to date and reached about 600 people with the message of freedom!

Both 8-week classes start next Sunday and Wednesday. we'll be gearing up our team to start helping people in need.  There are a lot of hurting people in the world.  We are highly focused on helping people find their identity in God and believe the truth about who they were created to be.  Life is good.

See you soon!