Greetings friends and family,
The 4 Webbs made it the past few days without any live-in helpers. Kendra is moving a little better every day. The kids are stabilizing after a rough few weeks of them not knowing how to process Kendra's absence. There were several weeks where Kendra was completely missing. She wasn't at the dinner table. she wasn't in the van to pick them up from school. She wasn't in their room at night to read them to sleep. It was definitely not a good situation, but there was no other way. We all knew Kendra's condition removed her as "Mommy" for 6-8 weeks, but it didn't make it any easier for the twins. Having our friends and family stay with us made a huge difference in closing the gaping void left by Kendra's absence, but it's just not the same without her around and involved.
The past 4 weeks have been incredible. So much healing is going on. healing for Kendra's vertebrae, healing for the relationship between her and the twins, healing (reconnecting) in our marriage, and healing the stability of our family functioning again as the 4 Webbs.
Easton came to our room early one morning since he's always the first one up. He crawled on the bed between us and cuddled up against Kendra. In an odd way Easton has been more out-of-sorts than any of us. He is learning how to express himself and also has some moments of assigning motives to people's responses. "Layla did that on purpose" has come out of his mouth more often than ever before, but we are being patient and gently helping him through all the uncertainty.
Layla, on the other hand, is doing fantastic. Her vocabulary and social skills are growing much faster than her maturity. She knows what to say, but not necessarily how or when. She sees a man in line at the convenience store holding a box of doughnuts and a case of soda. She turns to me and says "that guy is not making healthy choices! I would never do that." What she said was true, but her volume wasn't low enough to keep a few others around us from hearing her comment. Luckily, her charm and confidence compensate for the missing elements.
I absolutely love clothes shopping with Layla. I know, it's weird. I enjoy clothes shopping for myself as well, but my wallet does not approve. However, Layla's clothes are much cheaper and I like learning what she thinks is fashionable. Layla tried this dress on and I usually send a picture to Kendra and ask, "yes or no?" Then I send the price to brag about the discount I found.
Kendra wear a wig some of the time, a baseball cap most of the time and just leaves her head bald and uncovered the rest of the time. I like all her looks and I'm happy she is comfortable and confident no matter what. I left for work one morning and wanted to capture this amazing moment where the kids are home under Kendra's care once again. There were many instances where we were unsure if this picture would ever happen again. where Kendra is well and healthy enough to stand, sit, walk, and do all the things necessary to run the house without me around. She is fully able and I am over-the-moon happy for her to be back in her groove.
The first week after school was over resulted in a well-deserved lazy household. The twins made forts in our den and played cats and dogs or whatever animals they decide to be. They will be getting back onto the reading, writing and math train again soon so they don't show up at their first day of second grade having forgotten how to spell their own names.
I don't have nearly enough pictures of Kendra and I from the past 12 weeks. occasionally i'll just set the camera up and take a few shots just for fun. I took this in front of our family photos because it is very interesting to see the contrast of Kendra with hair from the photos of the past. Her radiance shines through just as bright as any picture from the past 15 years of knowing her. maybe even more now than ever before...
We have counted down the days for Ouma and Oupa to arrive. They arrived on Saturday for a month-long stay and we couldn't be happier. I love having them here and just being present. I feel more secure going to work knowing they are here with kendra and being interactive grandparents for the twins.
This coming week brings the start of our six-week marriage life group where we will have a number of married couples spend a couple of hours each Monday night with us discussing what is God's design for marriage and how to experience freedom in marriage. This is fun stuff for me and I am excited to hear about restoration and reconciliation!
see you soon.