Sunday, March 29, 2015
Cancer Answers... Finally.
This past week we finally have answers. This 586 page document plus a few additional ones gives us a clearer picture of what the rest of 2015 holds for Kendra as we walk through the process of not only getting cancer out of her body, but getting her back to life.
We met with all kinds of doctors lately who are top-notch in the cancer field. She's getting the best care with the best equipment available to average Joes like us. We consider these doctor visits to be "doctor dates" where we get a few hours to be alone, together, and focused with no kids. We get to listen to music, hold hands, dream talk about the future, and just spend time together. I would much rather spend this time on vacation somewhere, but given the current circumstances I am excited for her doctor appointments.
Kendra is diagnosed with stage 4b clear cell carcinoma cancer that developed in her ovaries and spread through her blood. Her ovaries were removed as a part of the hysterectomy. However, one malignant tumor is still inside her fractured T12 vertebrae and two more malignant tumors were diagnosed in her liver.
That's the bad news, but what I really want to share is the good news!
Here is what 2015 looks like:
2 WEEKS - Kendra will undergo CyberKnife radiation treatment starting Wednesday for two weeks of focused laser radiation on the tumors. After this, all three tumors will be gone along with her back pain. Her vertebrae is healing and will not require surgery or repair. (I'm writing this in faith believing it will be reality).
24 WEEKS - Then she'll have 24 weeks of chemotherapy (once per week). We have no idea of the effects or expectations for her quality of life, but we're praying for her body to respond well and the cancer to go into remission.
8 WEEKS - Then she'll have 8 weeks of general radiation for her whole body to make sure all of the cancer is gone.
We're planning an awesome party on December 1st, 2015 when all of this is done. Although, I'm open to having the party earlier if her healing occurs before then.
Here's a list of what to pray for as we jump into this journey:
- tumors to disappear
- no injury to her spinal cord during laser radiation
- no new lesions or tumors
- effective chemotherapy to kill the cancer cells
- complete healing of her T12 vertebrae
- back pain to be gone
- continued increase of peace, rest, and strength for Kendra
In order for this to become a reality she needs a miracle from the God who made her and loves her. If you believe in Jesus and His healing power then agree with me for her healing. It IS God's will for Kendra to be whole and healthy. It is always God's will because he is a God of restoration and recovery and love and life. Nobody needs to ask or wonder if it is God's will. The answer is "yes"! The only question is whether we will choose to believe it is true.
Healing is not about praying the right prayer with the right theology with the right inflection in your voice with the right scripture verse attached to it. Even if you do those things and passionately mean it, that will not produce healing. It is simply the authority of Jesus and the power of his presence that produces healing. All that is required is for men and women who are rightly related to God and empowered by his spirit to command healing to come into her body. It really is that simple. Religion is what makes things complicated. Religion is knowing about God but not really knowing Him. However, relationship with God and hearing his voice is what changes our reality. One word from him will change everything. Listen. Be still. Receive. Rest. Surrender. I didn't suddenly become religious because my world fell apart. I am just resting more and becoming more aware of my
dependence on God as the source of all life and aliveness.
On a personal note, I figured out how I "feel" about all this. I feel connected. I feel more deeply connected to Kendra on a level of compassion, love, and relationship than ever before. We've laughed more in the past three weeks than in the previous year. We've spent more time in silence and stillness holding one another. We've cried together in the uncertainty and unknowns. I can't wait to be with her and I miss her when we are not together. We are connecting with each other in a way that can only be experienced in the middle of difficulty.
You never know what you really believe until you have to believe it. My faith is not in the government or my insurance company or my bank account or the doctors. My faith is not even in what God can do for Kendra. My faith is in God, who he says he is, and who he says Kendra is. This is what Todd White calls "Godfindence" or confidence in God. I'm at a place of peace where I don't have to strive anymore or try hard. I don't have to make stuff happen. I'm at a place where God gets to be strong and I get to benefit from his strength. You can feel free to try harder and strive more or you can allow God to be powerful as we get to experience His love, grace, and mercy.
I don't know how this year will go. I don't have God figured out. There are many things I don't understand and never will, but I'm ok with that. I have you, my friends and family, to stand with us and believe with us. Your encouragement, prayers, and support are extremely valuable!
See you soon!