Sports Season Kick-off

Greetings friends and family,

With my birthday coming up, Kendra said there is interest to have a birthday list.  I've decided to open a "Buy Bronson a Birthday BBQ" fund.  What I really want (and need) is a new propane BBQ grill.  Mine is ancient and falling apart.  The lighter is broken, the pan is warped, the temp gauge is broken, and burners are getting rusted.  I got my money out of the cheap grill, but need to get a real nice one since we are committed to eating at home more than ever.

I have more pictures and stories than time allotted to write about it, but we are three weeks away from the end of our "busy season" so there is a light at the end of the tunnel.  Our big conference is 12 days away and we have about 25 days worth of work to do to prepare.  wish I were exaggerating, but we are only given 24 hours in a day.  With time taken for work, kids, and taking care of ourselves there are only a few hours left each day.  that's what we are making the most of.  I don't feel guilty for blogging, but I do feel like there is void if I don't get to blog.  so here I am.  Now, on to the real fun...  life with twins.

"The apple doesn't fall far from the tree" is an old adage.  Easton and I are proof, there is truth to that.  Notice the similarities in our cowlick.  We had a good laugh pointing at each other's hair.  It was like looking in a mirror in some ways.

On Valentine's Day I woke up extra early and gave Kendra the gift of relaxation.  I helped the kids get ready for school, took them out for breakfast, and drove them to school before starting my work day.   She was able to sleep in and leisurely get around with peace and quiet.  

Sometimes the best gifts are significant for what they don't contain more than what they do.  Kendra and I are not big celebrators of holidays on the official date just for the sake of saying we did it on the actual day.  We have no desire to scrounge for a babysitter to go fight the crowds in a restaurant and pay 4 x the normal amount for roses.  so we don't.  we simply choose not to make it a big deal.  

Instead we had a somewhat normal day of work and school and church efforts followed by dinner at home with the 4 Webbs, a few rounds of SkipBo (card game) and an evening of working on speaking notes for the conference.  

the other outing for Valentine's day was a hike, without Mommy.  I gave them a choice of three well-known hikes.  they chose what we call "the peaks", which is a rapid ascent of  altitude where get to eat snacks at the furthest point before running our way back down.  We stopped on the second peak to get a quick picture.  

Every hiker we passed all the way up and down received a "Happy Valentine's Day" greeting from Layla and a "Have a great hike!" from Easton.  Their infectious smiles and conversations made their day for several hikers.  There were several who were stone faced or grumpy who passed by us and were lit up like a gust of happiness that washed over them as we passed.  It is truly something to behold, watching these two spread good cheer like it's coming from a fire hose.

Easton finds humor in the oddest things.  I ran ahead of them (no small feat) and turned to take a picture of them running by.  Easton launched off a rock and stuck his hand out while making a funny noise.  

The three of us stopped to look at Easton's picture and we howled with laughter.  Not just a little "ha".  i mean the three of us were doubled over with cackling laughter.  that was one of those moments we will probably never forget.  The simplest things are fun if the right people are experiencing it together.

Kendra was still recovering from a brief fight with sickness on Saturday morning so I took princess Layla to her soccer game while leaving Big Time at home with Mommy.  This was Layla's second game on the girl's league and my first to attend.  She offered to sit out for the first rotation of teammates.  She sat on my lap and said, "can I take pictures with your camera?"

Sure thing!  why not?  She snapped several pics.  We analyzed each on by allowing her to share what she likes about the picture as well as what I see she did well (lighting, subjects, camera stillness, etc.)

I used my phone camera to take that picture of us.  She has such an eye for beauty it is extraordinary to watch her work.  She got the call from the coach to go play and off she went.  Two minutes later she scored a goal (1 of 2 in the whole game).  This is her "hooray" look after she scored.

During half-time the girls gathered around a little boy's toy box that contain 101 Dalmatian figurines.  The coach lost his will to compete with such cuteness after his attempt to give a pep talk was completely ignored.

After a quick blow of the whistle signaled the second half to begin, Layla was back to it with vigor. She stopped a few shots on her goal and convinced her team to stand squarely in front of the goal, which is totally illegal, but they did it anyway.

She is doing very well in the girls league because it is such a gentle, slow-paced event compared to the rough and tumble games of the boy's league from last year.  She has no problem stealing the ball from opponents and driving it down field with speed.

I was impressed with her strength and toughness because of the improvements even since just last season.

afterwards we stopped by Jamba Juice for a healthy kale-infused smoothie.  She still loves to spend time with just the two of us hanging out talking.  I'm going to keep this way of interacting functioning as long as possible.

we're counting down the days for Ouma's arrival and begging her to come sooner so we can focus on the tasks at hand while not having to worry about where the twins are or whether they are being taken care of.  Can't hurt to ask...

See you soon!

Leaders are Readers

Greetings friends and family,

Tam and David are our good friends and have been for years now.  She made us a crock pot of chicken soup and dropped it off for dinner.  This was a great gesture, but the back story is what makes it truly amazing.  She has a few jobs (real estate, business administrator, house cleaning service, etc.) and she took on the time-consuming task of designing and publishing the workbook for the conference Kendra and I will teach in a few weeks.  I'm grateful, but in a way that my words aren't able to convey.  It's one thing to give a few hours of time when you have an abundance.  True sacrifice is giving many hours to something with no profit when your time is already squeezed.  I just want to express my gratitude and write out how this feels to have great friends who go the extra mile with us and for us.

While many of my family are digging out from snow or praying for rain to ease the drought we are here in Phoenix saying, "Let's go play in the grass!"

I come in the door from work and feel the twin-pact of Uno and Dos running me over to get hugs.  That brief moment is all I need after a long day of work.  I switch hats from manager/employee to king daddy and away we go.  The twins are over their sick days with only an occasional cough or sneeze as a remnant.  Kendra and I are both barely past the "I would cut my nose off so it stops running if I had the strength" phase.  We moved onto the recovery stage where we don't quite feel good enough to exercise, but as long as we are sitting still everything cooperates well.

There are dandelions randomly popping through the grass by the park.  The twins picked every feathery top and blew off the seeds while making wishes.

Layla wouldn't tell me what she wished for, but there are some things it is ok to keep secret from Daddy.  This is one...  I can't think of anything else because we don't have secrets in our house.  We cultivate an atmosphere of openness in all aspects.  For example, during our high-low sharing at dinner time we found out Easton kissed a girl and Layla pulled a girl's tooth out.

These were both presented as a "low", but Kendra and I had to exercise extreme self-control no to laugh through both of their stories.

Layla's friend was showing her loose tooth to some friends.  Layla offered to pull it.  the friend accepted.  Layla reached in her mouth and yanked it out!   No blood or screaming or anything like that.  She was being helpful and Layla's friend received it as such.  However, the playground monitor didn't know about their accord.   They both were reprimanded, but Kendra and I congratulated her while encouraging her to act appropriately next time and avoid pulling teeth on the playground.

Easton is a loving boy.  He gives away hugs and kisses to our family as easily and often as Layla gives away smiles.  He has a girlfriend named Jordan.  He doesn't know what the term girlfriend means.  He just knows she is a girl and is his friend.  end of story.  Apparently they were on the playground during recess and Easton gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek.  somebody ratted him out and he was reprimanded.  He was slightly shameful when he told us the story, but Kendra and I congratulated him on being such a loving boy while encouraging him to act appropriately next time by obeying school policy of no kissing.

These two are such joys.

Layla is way ahead of her class with regards to reading skills.  Easton is somewhere in the middle, but gaining ground quickly.  When we look at signs as we drive and when I read a book, the twins correct me and know when I'm not fully reading every word.  I get a lot of "what's that word?" questions now and sometimes I don't really want to answer.  Here is Easton reading his book for homework.  His hat is supposed to be George Washington's hat because they learned about presidents day.  Watching a six-year-old read simple sentences isn't superhero worthy.  However, I am certain that leaders are readers.  That means he is taking his first steps towards being a leader.

The birthday week/month is over...  i think.  There was one final gift I wanted to give Layla that I am too cheap to pay retail for.  I finally found a good used one on Craigslist and bought it.  Yes, that is obviously wrapped by Daddy.  Guess what?  Layla didn't care.

She eagerly tore off the wrapping paper and knew exactly what it was before the first layer was gone.

It's a Zuca bag.  You might be thinking, "a WHAT bag?"  I was too before entering the world of ice skating.  This is a steel frame and attached case that is made for ice skate transportation.  Inside the doors of the ice skating rink you'll find kids pulling their stuff around in the same way you would find adults pulling their luggage through an airport terminal.  The pink polka dots and light-up wheels make this one perfect fit.  It only took four weeks of daily searching Craigslist and negotiating for me to get my hands on one.  She was thrilled!

It gave me yet another opportunity to explain what a gift is.  Many people give gifts with conditions.  Meaning, they give something, but it is based on past performance or future expectations.  We despise that at the Casa de Webb.  When you get something as a good consequence for performance that not a gift.  A gift is something we choose to give Easton or Layla because we love them.  period.  I make sure they understand that a gift is my choice to give, but that's where I stop.  True gifts are given without any expectations.

That's the nature and character of God and that's my role as father of the twins:  to imitate God and form their image of Him through my parenting as a father.  If I give gifts only when they deserve it then they will not know grace.  They will only know performance and awards based on merit.  If I give gifts with expectations of what they do with it, then I remove their ability to choose and turn it into conditional giving.  That's not the way God gives so that's not the way we give.  I'm not suggesting we are perfect, but we have a role model that sets the standard for our parenting.  Parenting is much easier when all I have to do is imitate God...  Assuming you know the nature and character of God.

See you soon!
  

Just Being Six Years Olds

Greetings friends and family,

The birthday celebration is mostly over except for a few decorations strung in the kitchen and a piece of left over cake.  The twins had many serenades from grandparents and friends who sang Happy Birthday to them.  I only captured one on video since Ouma and Oupa are the only ones who Skype with us.

Easton and Layla smiled proudly each time someone called and sang.  Their birthday gifts were plentiful and perfectly tailored.  Thank you to everyone who sent a card or gift!  I bought Layla's ice skates as her main gift from me.  For Easton I found the Mega Bloks Probuilder Space Shuttle (like Legos) on Craigslist. I am a Craigslist fiend lately because I like nice things, but dislike paying retail.  This set was $200 new.  I got it for $10 and some pieces are already pre-assembled (hooray).  We started building it last night, but with 2000 pieces in the box I expect this will be a long project much like the International Space Station model.

The 4 Webbs drove across town to meet with some friends.  On the drive there Easton browsed his library book about Mars.  He's starting to read really well so these adult books are becoming even more interesting than before.

Layla played on the iPad.  Her favorite game is a pet shop owner game.  I'm all for whatever meets her pet needs virtually.  we are not ready for the real deal yet in the Webb house.

While at our friend's house we spent much of the time in their front yard soaking in the sun.  Layla picked some flowers from their plants and gave them to me.  These two are much more thoughtful than I remember being at age 6.

Easton is not much of an outside kind of kid, but he does enjoy swinging the golf clubs.  He's much rather spend time with me playing in legos and star wars in his room.  I bribe him outside by offering to hit golf balls in the green belt.

His swing is coming along nicely.  He is working on keeping both feet on the ground instead of coming out his shoes as he rotates around.  I'm thinking baseball might be a good fit too, but it's not good to get golf and baseball swings confused.

All 4 Webbs are in some state of "sick" now. Some are recovering and some are still snot-nosed and lethargic.  This is a rare situation for all of us to be caught with a bug at the same time.  I hear this is a standard part of acclimating to kindergarten...  times 2.  As with all things, this too shall pass.  Looking forward to health and energy very soon.

See you soon!

The big SIX

Hello friends and family,

It is with mixed emotions I share with you the last picture of Easton and Layla as five-year-olds.

On this morning as they rushed out the door for just another ordinary day of school I was mourning and cheering the last day before their sixth birthday.  The mourning is for the sad reality that my "small children" are now "kids".  The cheering is for the continued growth, maturity, and sprouting personalities that will come from their sixth trip around the sun.  Layla agreed to stop wetting her pullups at night and Easton agreed to stop sucking his thumb.  No one told me I'd be dealing with these issues through their sixth birthday, but I know parenting doesn't come with a manual.

Let me back up a day though.  Wednesday was Layla's group skate lesson.  I've been searching for used figure skates for the past month, but nothing came up on my online or local shop radar.  I mentioned our search to the instructor who took me to a back room filled with gear where I waited outside.  She brought out a pair of almost new skates and sold them to me for $25.  These are about $130 new so I thanked her asked Layla, "Do you want these as your birthday gift?"  She quickly nodded and I said, "Happy Birthday to you!"

Took her a few minutes to get used to the bigger toe pick and precision blade, but after a couple of falls she was skating circles around the instructor.

OK, then jump over over my day of mourning and cheering on Thursday to their big birthday, Friday.  I went to work and they went to school.  My schedule included meetings up to 1:00 so no lunch for this guy.  I went straight to Easton and Layla's school to pick them up and then rushed home to meet Kendra.  She drove out East to fetch Zander and Joya, their two friends.  We will have a big birthday party in a few weeks with a bounce house and a house full of people, but for their actual birthday we gave them some choices.  We said they could choose one friend each and do one activity.  Layla chose Joya as her friend and ice skating as the activity.

Layla smiled her way through her first full private lesson.  The instructor said she is a joy to work with and has real potential.  

Her friend Joya had a great time skating, but she wasn't much better than the only other person on the ice rink, a four-year-old newbie.  After Layla's lesson the three of them skated around while Layla taught them some basics.

Is Layla getting comfortable on the ice?  Absolutely!  She laid down on the ice for a few seconds and just absorbed the atmosphere before realizing she was getting wet.  

Easton chose Zander as his friend and golf as his activity.  The monthly golf lesson happened to fall on Easton's birthday.  I rushed the girls home, then drove the boys straight to First Tee.  Zander played golf a few times in his short life so he wasn't completely new to the idea.  The coach to student ratio was roughly 1 to 3, which is really great considering his teacher to student ratio in Kindergarten is 1 to 24.

The two boys goofed off more than I was used to when Easton was here alone, but I didn't care because they were just here to have fun.    

Things got serious a couple of times when they were concentrating on putting.  They cheered each other on during the hour-long lesson and I had a great time watching then enjoy the perfect weather and fun in learning.

Easton mistakenly believes that whoever hits the ball the furthest wins.  That's great from off the tee box. but he carries that idea over to chipping and putting.  The coach only had to yell "fore" once that day.

After golf ended we packed up the van and drove immediately home where Kendra, the girls, and her parents were waiting for the birthday celebration.  We ate homemade tacos and dove right into the cake and festivities.  Happy birthday to Easton and Layla!  

The kids played in the hot tub while us adults hung out on the back patio wrapped up in blankets.  We don't have very many friends who are close enough to let our hair down and fun enough to enjoy our company.  All four of them get along with all four of us Webbs.  I know, it's not a miracle, but sure makes for pleasant times together when it all lines up.  It's relatively easy for a single person to find a single friend and get along.  However, when you throw two couples into the mix and both couple's kids it doesn't always work out well for everyone.  We are very grateful for the few close families we share life with on a regular basis.  

See you soon!

Down on the Farm

Yeehaw friends and family,

Layla is back in soccer this season, but instead of being one of only 2 girls in a boys league, she is one of many girls in her girls only league.  The purple jersey is right up her ally.  I asked if she liked this team better than last year's.  Her emphatic "yes!" suggests she is going to enjoy this season of the girl's team even more than last year.

The 4 Webbs took a drive South East for about 40 minutes to attend a "day at the farm" event held by some friends of ours.  The twins harassed every animal on the premises including this soft, friendly bunny.

A flashback of Monty Python led to momentary concern about the harmless little bunny attacking my kids.  No fingers were lost or drops of blood.  They both held fat chickens too.  Luckily, the friendly kind that don't mind being picked up and cuddled like a teddy bear.

We ramped up the risk tolerance for a few hours.  Riding on a 4-wheeler is not high on my to-do list for the twins, but we let them do it...  without helmets.  kids having fun and taking a little risk is more highly valued in the Webb house than it was just a few short months ago.

The only reason I even considered this was because I trust the driver and owner of the ranch.  He loaded up a whole trailer full of kids and went plowing off into the dirt fields.

Climb over a fence?  why not.  He's getting to be a big boy.  I gotta let go some time and allow him to make choices and suffer consequences as well as make choices and boost his confidence.

I'm doing my best to be a father to the twins in the same way God is a father.  He gives us free will to make our own choices.  He doesn't stop us from making bad choices.  He doesn't force us to make good choices. But when we choose, we are not free to choose the consequences of the choices we make.  the law of sowing and reaping is in full effect whether we attribute it to God or not.

Layla loved on the goat so much that it began to eat her shirt.  literally eat her shirt.  We don't have many opportunities to leave an event with bite marks in their clothing.

Layla brushed a little pony and for a brief moment she wanted one really bad.  Luckily that desire didn't even last through the day.  I was concerned she might jump on that and talk about it for the next 3 years until I get her one, but luckily this will be a farm-only experience.

Easton and the other two boys who were his age ended up in the training pasture where they give horse riding lessons.  The kids were around horses, which is dangerous all on its own when they have never been around them during their life.  Even so, I threw caution to the wind and let them alone.  Also, they were flinging dirt everywhere, but I didn't care.  He came home covered in dirt, but sometimes that is the best measure of success for an adventure.

We went straight from the farm back to our suburban life.  A birthday party for a neighbor down the street.  They are known as "the french family" because they are from France, they speak french, their house is decorated like the french, and their names are hard to pronounce.

Great party though.  Their son had a superhero party with the expectation all of the kids would come dressed as superheros.

Who is that clinging to the side of the bounce house?  Spiderman, of course.

The guest of honor had the black Spiderman costume so Easton and Layla fit right in.  They played chase / tag with a ball and no bones were broken. Easton's ankle took on some damage, but he was fine after a couple of days.

Layla climbed up the side of the bounce house.  I wanted to tell her to get down and not fall because that was a 10 foot drop from the top to the ground. but i didn't. I let her take some risk and find her own success.

This is the whole crew waiting patiently for the (french version of a) cake to be cut.  Nothing Costco about this cake.  The twins enjoyed the party and the new friends.  We'll look forward to having the French family over for dinner sometime.  We are neighborly and so are they!

Kendra and I are still up to our neck in book writing, editing, and publishing.  Luckily our friend Tam agreed to help us with the publishing part.  She is saving our bacon.  We owe her big time and can't wait to see the finished product of what we are developing.

The downside of all this extra curricular activity is that Kendra and I haven't spent much time together. We both dislike the distant feeling that happens when we don't take an evening or at least a few hours to just spend time together.  All of our babysitting opportunities are being used to enable our ministry time to help others.  Nothing wrong with that, but I am excited to get my priorities back in line next month.

Like my brother-in-law John says, "You can do anything... for a few months."  

See you soon.

Birthday Month

Greetings friends and family,

On Friday we will no longer have young children in our house.  As near as I can tell, this term young children refers to kids between the age of 3-5.  The stage in between toddler and kid.  Easton and Layla turn six this coming Friday.  Kendra and I are excited for them to be six and shocked that we have kids this old.  Families who have 4 or 10 kids go through each stage of life a few times along with the blessings and challenges that come with them.  For us, we get one shot.  This is it for us.  I fully realize the magnitude of what that means.  I make the most of every opportunity because we only get to experience this once.

If you were able to go to Disneyland for a week, but you knew this was the only time you would ever go there, I'm certain it wouldn't be difficult to get your mind right about treasuring every moment.  However, if you live next to Disneyland and go there every month, then your mind would be much less engaged.  That's the way Kendra and I are with the twins.

Layla's nail-biting habit is kicked.  Hopefully for good.  I've been baiting her with the promise I will paint her nails when she lets them grow.  Instead of saying, "stop biting your nails" I say, "when you let them grow, I'll paint them whatever colors you like."  It's a subtle difference, but focusing on the good and right and positive always leads to longer lasting and better results than pointing out bad behavior.

She held up her end of the bargain.  Every few days she fans her fingers out in front of my face and waits for me to notice her nails growing.  For the first few weeks she continued to bite them, but would still look for my words of affirmation.  I obliged and congratulated her on letting them grow.  Then she started to believe she could have finger nails that were long enough to paint.  From there it was just a matter of a few weeks before her nails were long enough to paint.

We headed to the master bath where nail polish is kept.  I stood her up on the bathroom counter and she selected the colors of her choice.

It's amazing what kids can do when they are properly guided.  Now we just need to figure out how to get her to stop peeing in her pullups at night.  One thing at a time...

Her passion for figure skating is growing.  We went an hour before lessons to take advantage of the free rink time.  I asked if she wanted me to join her on the ice.  She said, "no thanks, Dad.  I made friends and they'll want to skate with me."

Well...  ok.  i can handle rejection from a five-year-old.  I expected to fall behind friends as a priority, but not this soon!  She went out on the ice and met some new girls.  They are really good skaters.  Layla learned more in 30 minutes of trying to keep up with a group of girls playing follow the leader than she had in the previous 3 group lessons.  I was a little concerned she might get frustrated because of her lack of speed and technique to keep up, but she did great.  Her will power and strength were enough to keep up.  She's having the time of her life out there.

I took the twins for a hike on South Mountain one evening.  The weather is perfect and I don't want to miss these chances to build up their trail legs.  The two of them were behind me for a short few moments.  I pointed the camera at them, but Layla was already sprinting ahead because she likes to lead so much.  Easton is getting tougher all the time.  We hiked for over an hour and his attitude about it was super.  Towards the end we passed a group of hikers and one guy said, "how's it going" as a standard friendly greeting.  Easton said, "My legs are pooped out!"  They all laughed with us as Easton smiled knowing he made a funny.

The altitude of this trip wasn't very high, but we still had a few places to overlook the city and get a Godly view of it.

We don't have a dog.  I don't want a dog.  However, the twins have always loved being around animals.  This is why we went over to our friend's house.  They have a new Razor's Edge pit bull puppy.  The twins pet him, were licked in the face with puppy breath, and gave him treats for shaking hands.  Then we went home to our wonderful dog hair-free home.  It's the best of both worlds.  I'm planning to wait until the twins are 8 before getting a dog, but they keep asking regularly.  

Other fathers told me the normal amount of time a parent holds off getting a pet from the time kids want it is 3 years.  That timer is coming up quickly.

Layla's bedtime routine always includes a song.  Every few days she requests Clark Richard's song, "Red Robin".  I only sing the first two verses and then shut it off.  I do this because the last verse is tough for me to make it through without crying.  This week she's been asking to hear the whole song so I obliged with predictable results.  The first two verses I get through fine, but this last one hits me in the chest too hard for me to sing all the way through.  I have enough vocal control to explain that I cry because I love her so much and I'm happy to have her as my daughter.

If time could only give me
A moment to reflect
To smile on all that has been
to treasure what is left
Though I won’t always be here
This you surely know
That I’ll quietly spot you
Anywhere you go

And when we are apart remember it is not the end
You know enough to know we’ll meet again
I’ll be waiting by the gate
Standing just inside
Til I know you’ve made it home all right
til I know you’ve made it home all right

Tears slide down to the end of my nose as I lean over her.  She wipes them off with her blankie and says, "I know you will always be here for me.  I don't ever want to move away or get married."  That is music to my ears!  although, I'm sure that tune will change in time.  I assure her as often as possible that I will always be here for her and will never leave her.

Crying doesn't always equal vulnerability, but I know too many guys who avoid both and miss out on these moments.  The word "stoic" will never be used by Easton or Layla to describe me.  That's refreshing and a measure of my success as a father.

And now for some boring stuff about Kendra and I...  We are one month away from leading a two-day conference at church.  This will be the biggest event and opportunity either of us have ever had in the church world.  we are writing a reference manual / workbook, developing the speaking points, delivering the messages, and coordinating the event.  This normally would take 15 people or so to pull it off, but because this is the first time for our church to go through it, Kendra and I took on the entire burden from start to finish.

i'm really proud of what we've accomplished so far and can't wait to see what comes from this in the future.  The next 4 weeks are going to be nutty.  crazy.  chaotic.  maybe even maddening at times.  It's just a short season though and we can do anything for a few weeks.

Just keep swimming...

See you soon!