Wednesday, October 21, 2015

Just the 4 Webbs

Greetings friends and family,

This is a huge week in the Webb house.  There is newness and life happening in new ways.  The most obvious sign of newness is Kendra's hair.  As we waited together between doctor's appointments in the hospital patio I looked up at Kendra and saw the sunlight illuminating the new hairs sprouting from her head.  I've noticed the changes every single day since they starting showing up as fuzz.  Now it's really starting to come in dark and wispy.

We stood around one of the fish tanks in the hospital to pass the time.  The lionfish is Kendra's favorite.  She spends so much time around the hospital I'm surprised she doesn't have them all named by now.

Today marks the first church-less week for us in the past eight years.  We are not running from anything, but we are unsure what we are running towards.  On Saturday we met with our 20-person leadership team and said our good-byes along with blessings.  They are taking the ministry we developed and continuing forward.  We led 250 people during the eight classes we taught and built the team of leaders slowly over time.  It's a living, breathing organization of people who are excited about their own freedom journey.  It's so difficult to step away in the middle of what God is doing, but this is the real test of leadership.  What happens when leaders leave?  If it falls apart and can't function without us, then that doesn't prove our value.  It proves our lack of leadership skills to really call out people into their own place of leadership.  We are grieving the loss of our connection with what we were so intimately involved with.  At the same time we are grateful for the opportunity we were given to be a part of this.

This is the last picture of the 4 Webbs at our church.  It's been our home for eight years.  It's the only place the twins have ever known as church.

All of us are working through this realization in our own way.  It's not a sorrowful, hopeless sadness, but just dealing with the uncertainty of not knowing where God will lead us.  Also, the feeling of being disconnected from the local church body is foreign.  We are in the "season in between" and it's entirely OK.  I'm not worried about the future or frantically trying to figure everything out.  Every week and every day for the past few years was filled with work at my career and then church related activities on the nights and weekends.  I didn't realize how many hours per week I spent on church stuff until this past week without any of the responsibility.  Now we get to just be the 4 Webbs for a while.  Not leaders or teachers or directors or any role outside of the house.  We are down to just the bare bones of life and focusing on our priorities.  Easton and Layla went to church this past Sunday knowing it was our last time there.  The children's leader took time to have the kids pray a blessing over the twins.  The act of sending them off with gratitude warmed my heart so much.

Back at home, much of my free time is spent helping Easton with his Titanic model.  He has bulldog-like tenacity when his passion has something to focus on.  He begs me every morning to work on it.  We're almost done, thank God.  Layla is feeling a little left out, but she understands the give and take of being a sister and a daughter.  I will make it up to her in the next few days through special time with her and I.  At first I didn't know if Easton would be steady enough to glue the tiny pieces, but I let him prove his skills with the glue and then turned him loose to put it together.

This week includes a full list of challenges and potential successes.  Can't wait to see how things turn out for Kendra ad our family.

See you soon!

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