This post is directed at Kendra, but feel free to jump in here with us. Kendra mentioned yesterday and then again today (unfortunately with some tears) how she misses the "us" time together. By us she means just Kendra and Bronson alone without the twins. The journey of parenthood with twins is awesome and I wouldn't trade it for the world. Although, one of the few things I wish were different is the lack of time to cultivate our marriage relationship.
The two of us are a great team regarding day to day dealings. We take care of business and get things done well. However, we are missing the opportunities to have alone time in the daylight hours. Like everything else in life, you make time for what's important and the two of us are individually realizing we need to make some changes in our order of priorities.
We give each other lots of room for friends and hobbies because managing the home and the twins only requires one of us. That means the other person is able to go and do whatever he/she desires.
Last Saturday I did an early morning ride and returned home just after the kids woke up. During my ride with friends I stopped for a break and captured my thoughts on video just for fun.
It's amazing how both Kendra and I feel this way even before we talked this morning. Now we just need to do something about it. The first two years with Easton and Layla were a blur of survival mode and keeping our nose above water. Now we've hit some sort of critical milestone where the twins are in school and we recognize how little time we spend together. Any family can endure a given situation for a few months or years, but eventually adjustments must be made to get the health meter back to reasonable values.
I'm really happy Kendra and I are seeing this void in our relationship simultaneously and we both want to rebuild the intimacy connection.
In the heat of battle, two soldiers in a fox hole don't notice dehydration. However, when the bullets and mortars subside they start talking about how nice it will be to have a tall glass of ice cold lemonade. Here is a pictorial representation of Kendra and I.
I can't wait for our lives to stabilize so we can actively search for moments we can share together.
I love you.
2 comments:
Every deficit in your life seems even larger when you have a loss you're contending with. So sorry that April is leaving...hang onto each other. You'll need each other, as friends, even more now than before. Luckily, you'll have each other always....that's a promised vow that is a gift to one another. In the past I've also felt like we were hunkered down in a bunker, at times. Stick together! Sometimes you advance, sometimes you retreat, sometimes you hunker down and hold onto each other til the bullets stop flying!! This, is the truth of parenting!!
--joanie
A date night once a week is ideal and away together, once a month. Dad and I survived pretty well w/o the priviledge of either of the above. Communication and connection do depend upon quality time listening to each other.
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